Welcome back to Sacred Sexuality Month on the podcast! I have another amazing guest for you this week!
Dr. Sheila Campbell (Nutritionist, licensed Acupuncturist, Herbologist, and Doctor of Chinese Medicine) is on a mission to help women understand how to truly heal and transform sexual trauma. It’s SO much more than just talk therapy. She takes a truly holistic approach that incorporates body, mind, and energy including techniques like acupuncture, cord-cutting, meridian therapy, essential oils, massage, and more!
The conversation we had was incredibly inspiring, healing, and powerful. I’m so excited and honored to share this conversation with you. You’re going to walk away with an entirely new perspective on trauma, clarity on your next step in your healing journey, and practices you can start implementing today to heal and transform your sexual energy.
✧ How to begin healing from sexual trauma
✧ How to honor your truth, advocate for yourself, and set boundaries
✧ The energetics of trauma in the body and how it impacts your health and life
✧ Practices to support you releasing trauma and resetting your body’s nervous system
✧ How Sheila uses acupuncture to help her clients heal sexual trauma
✧ How to take back your power and protect your energy
✧ How to practice sacred sexuality
✧ Why foreplay is so important, especially for women
✧ What to do if one person energetically shuts down during sex
Follow her on Instagram @drsheilamariecampbell
Follow me on Instagram @magneticallyyou
I am sooo grateful for you listening today. If this resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you’d leave a review on itunes. Everyone’s invited to the afterparty which takes place every day on instagram @magneticallyyou so come hang out with us there.
If you’re really fired up about mindset, spiritual and personal development, click here to check out my coaching programs and courses.
Hello and welcome to the magnetical you podcast. I'm your host Madison's or Diag, I'm a mindset energy coach here to help you feel your freaking best and manifest a life full of magic miracles and abundance. I know that whatever led you here did not happen by coincidence. So I am so excited and grateful to have you here. So let's let the magic begin.
Hi, and welcome back to the magnetical you podcast this month is sacred sexuality month and I have another freaking incredible guest for you this week. She is a powerhouse that is like the word I would use to describe her just like so deeply in her power and her truth and so connected to the messages that she shares. And I heard her. It's Dr. Sheila Campbell, I heard her first on the almost 30 podcast and I was like I have to have a conversation with this woman. So it was amazing. It was so inspiring, so healing and so powerful. And I'm so excited to share this with you. Because you're gonna walk away with an entirely new perspective on trauma, especially healing sexual trauma clarity on your next step in your healing journey and practices, you can start implementing today to heal and transform your sexual energy. So she is a nutritionist, licensed acupuncturist or biologist and Doctor of Chinese medicine, and she's on a mission to help women understand how to truly heal and transform sexual trauma. And this episode is just so juicy. So good. We talked about beginning that journey of healing from sexual trauma, how to honor your truth and set boundaries, how trauma shows up in the in the body energetically and how that can manifest in your health and in your life practices to release trauma and reset your nervous system. And Sheila actually uses acupuncture to help her clients heal from sexual trauma. So she talks more about that it's really really cool, how to take back your power and just so much more. This conversation is so good, so juicy, so enjoy. I also wanted to remind you that January 25, I am starting a workshop it's going to be a two or three day workshop called energy, ecstasy. And it's going to be an amazing amazing workshop all about really resetting and realigning your energy for I also want to tell you about a free masterclass, I'm hosting starting January 25, it's going to be a two or three day free masterclass called energy, ecstasy. And it's going to be all about getting high off of your own power. And that's what I mean by energy. Ecstasy is BS when you are so in your power. So in your truth, so connected to your intuition. So connected to the truth of who you are, you literally can't help but feel high off your own power. And it's your life. You call in magic miracles and abundance as a natural extension of that as a natural extension of who you are as a natural extension of being so fucking in your power that you literally feel high off of it. And then it's like the magic miracles and abundance that come as an inevitable result or just like an amazing, beautiful side effect. So I'm really, really excited for that the link is going to be in the show notes to sign up for that. And without further ado, let's get into this episode with Sheila. Hi, and welcome back to the magnetically you podcast. I am fucking thrilled for today's interview. I have Sheila Campbell here. I heard her recently on almost 30 podcast and just resonated so much with her story, her energy and even we were just talking before the podcast for a few minutes about how we're going into and this conversation is so important, so powerful. And Sheila is just at the point where she's like, I give no fucks this needs to be said. So here we are. I'm so excited for this. And thank you for being here, Sheila.
Hi, thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited to connect with your audience. And it's such a big world topic. And it's also like the importance of people really understanding it and us learning how to navigate this energy as a community and the world is so important. And I really believe that women in specifically need to come together and we need to support each other and we all need to really hold each other in a big way. And like you said, give zero fucks about what anyone thinks about it.
Guess oh my gosh, it took me i don't know like 1520 years to get to that point. But I think that's the point with this episode is so that it doesn't take other people that long and that much suffering and struggle and that you can find that healing and that support through through everything we're going to talk about Today, so can you share with us a little bit more about what you do? And what kind of led you into it?
Yeah, so I will, first of all, I'm a Doctor of Chinese medicine. And so I have a doctorate and a master's in traditional Chinese medicine. And then I have a bachelor's degree in child development. And then I've studied and done group facilitation for women's studies. And I actually was super close to have having another degree in women's studies. But I actually I love women's studies so much, I just kind of I feel like sometimes it can get so like anti men. And I don't think that this is an anti male conversation, I think that it needs to be so much more of an inclusive conversation, because this kind of stuff and sexual assault does happen to men as well. I just think that even when we're looking at the resolution, I think that it's it's more like what I believe that needs to happen. And the direction that needs to be had is more of the conversation needs to be, you know, spread out. And we need to be doing proper vetting within our community structures. And I do think that that happens a lot of the times, since women are more of a caretakers with women, especially when we're dealing with like, how do we inform boundaries? And how do we inform, you know, safety conversations, it's a lot of these conversations, and men are included in it, but a lot of them are coming from our caretakers. So I teach on sacred sexuality, I teach sexual healing. I've designed a lot of different styles of treatments for both of them in terms of like, how do we get this energy out of our body. And so when I was 10 years old, I was taken from my uncle's party, and I was sexually assaulted by my brother in law. And this is all super important information, because I think that you have to understand like, the lens that I've I've studied all of this information in is because I really needed to heal my own body. So he went to jail. And then my sister decided to get back with him. And then when he got back with him, he got out of jail, and he came into the restaurant we were eating at and he hugged me. And that was the first time I disassociated from my body. So this association is a really common theme that happens with during sexual assault. And even when you're dealing with women that have been sexually assaulted in my original sexual assault, when it happened, I was very present in my body. And I was very much like you telling him to take me home and all the different layers of like, I'm not going to get into the specifics of the story. But it's important because it's like, I want you to understand disassociation and boundaries and what happens and so the first time and when it actually physically happened, I didn't disassociate and then in the aftermath, I did disassociate. And I often tell people, it's not, it's not the sexual assault that that like traumatize me so much. It was the aftercare like it was how I was handled after the sexual assault, and how I continued to be handled. So when he got out of jail, and my sister got back with him, my family just opened him with welcome arms, and he like was allowed to touch me again. And that was when I first jumped out of my body. And then, over the course of the next like, 10 years, he never stopped hitting on me. And so that was like, and I was so confused, because I was so little, I was only 10. And so by the time I turned 19, mind you, I had really painful menses as soon as they started, which is another common sign and symptom of you know, something happening really traumatic emotionally, our menses is always informing us. And so when your body is healthy, there should be very little cramps, it should like and I'm not saying that it's not, you're not going to cramp it, like that's part of being a woman. And also, when the flow is healthy, and your body is healthy, it should just be a flow, it should be just like a flowing river River, it should be smooth, the clot should be light. And most of us have traumas that happen whether it's a sexual assault trauma, or it's another style of trauma, it happens. So from there, when up happening was I had painful menses from 14 to 18. They put me on birth control and then at 18 I wasn't having any libido like I wasn't I wasn't attracted to anybody. And I'm like, why I'm like, Young and I'm like, good looking like why don't I want to be with anybody. And I have had an abusive relationship to which is like really bad for being like 14 to 18 like getting in an abusive relationship, but also like, there was parts of that when I was going into really intensive therapy. And I've been into a lot of therapy like my parents, even though like they they made like that one poor decision. My parents are amazing parents, and they put me into the best therapy and so I've always had the best therapy even through all of this trauma. And so that's another reason why I feel really passionate about talking about it because because most women are making like 35 to $45,000 a year, and the average cost of being assaulted is $150,000 and aftercare and the average loss of income is about $243,000 in a lifetime. And so if you're making like 35, to $45,000, and you're losing that much, that's a lot of years of income. And I've learned a lot of tools to move through this, you know, and make myself a very, very functioning creature.
So, from there,
I ended up getting off birth control, I got polycystic ovarian syndrome really fast after I got off birth control. And then I had no menses for one year. And this is important because this is the same year that I was really trying to lay down the boundaries the first time with my family, and, and following my family, I no longer want to see my brother in law, like he's just inappropriate, he's never been appropriate. And then like, that was the first like, start of, of the the warfare, because before it was like, it was just pushed under the rug. And I just was fine being uncomfortable. And I was just like, constantly jumping on my body. So then by the time I was 2322, I had actually split myself into two people. And it was like, it was because I was in my family. And then I was also like, not wanting to be there, like, I was so uncomfortable. And then I was so there and I like didn't want to like, leave my family, but I didn't want the way things were. And so then it was, it was like getting harder to have conversations with me. And then he like, professed his love to me, and that time and I was like, fuck this, I'm done, like I'm out. And so I ended up going to Sedona and moving in with a medicine woman. And she gave, she gave me the therapy I really needed and she gave me tools and the language and I started learning about cord cutting. And I started learning about like how people like imprint on us energetically and how we can be manipulated through the energy realm. And so I moved in with her, my whole family thought I was in a cult. And I'm like, No, I'm not gonna call I just like, can't function in these dynamics. And so I started gardening every day, she made me garden, she made me put my hands in the ground. And she made me like, pick weeds out of the ground. And she's just like, as you're picking the weeds, you need to really pick the weeds of your mind. And you need to think about, you know, all the different layers of yourself that you're cleaning up right now. And like think about, she's like, You've totally split yourself in half. And she's like, You have to stitch yourself back together yourself. And so as you're gardening, and as you're like I woke up every morning, I meditated, I cleaned the floors to a huge house for like four hours, it was like a temple. It's huge, beautiful temple in Sedona, Arizona. And so then I just like, slowly, just like came back together. And then then the next layers, were making sure that my boundaries were reinforced. And so as I was going through that I was also studying Chinese medicine school. And so I would say like, my body is the best case study for all of this stuff. And like how do you have, you know, healthy relationships with people and reinforce your boundaries. And then also like, looking at your your particles, and because it's like, I believe, and we talked about this a little bit before, this is an ancestral curse. This is not something that I just like, I walked into this energy and my, my, there's like only the younger girls are, haven't been assaulted in my lineage. And it's just, it's this thing where we all have to really take a deep look at what has gone on before us and what has gone on with us and really look to heal, what do we not want to pass on? You know, what do we not want to pass on? And what is happening within our lineage that keeps moving. And I've done a lot of a lot a lot of work in, like how do I clear that out of my body and out of my space and understanding the body and space and outer space and atoms and like all the particles that make us and bond us I've really spent 10 years of my life researching that to understand for my own self and for my own lineage, but also like now I get to share it with the world. So I'm really happy that you're having me here today and I just like any questions that you want to ask in terms of like the science of it. I'm in a really really good place with myself and with my even with my family, like my boundaries are finally getting honored. And I love my family. I believe that the work is not away from the family. It's inside of the family and it's really you learning how to be an advocate for yourself and for your desires. And that's not just like with your boundary work that's with like, how do you even ask your husband how to please you or pleasure you Like, how do you have these other conversations? So any questions that you want to ask after a while, that was like a little bit of a longer intro story
of so many don't even know where to begin? I think it's, I think I want to start with asking for, first of all, thank you so much for sharing your story. Thank you so much for healing, because I think, I mean, this is so powerful. And, you know, I've recently been coming out more with my story and just finding out what's going on in my lineage. And it's, it fucking blew my mind. But it also wasn't surprising. And that's like, like, the fact that it's like that could have gone on for so many people in my lineage. And it's like, oh, that's crazy. But it sounds like a Lifetime movie. But it's also not that surprising. Like, that's yeah, I'm like, yeah, it's just gotten me so passionate about talking about it. And like, like you said, about sweeping things under the rug. Like, I feel like, I was like, the one who was like, I know, there's stuff under this rug, and it, it feels so painful to lift it up. And because there's so much shit under there, but I'm going to lift it up and start like dusting all that shit out. And it is so it can be so scary and intense for someone who has experienced that trauma. So where would you say someone should begin who has experienced sexual trauma, but they haven't, they don't feel like they've healed around there haven't done much healing around it.
I mean, I think that one of the biggest things that I tell my clients that I work with is like, your truth is so important for you. And it's not about like being it's not, you don't have to like do what I'm doing and like go talk about it to the world, it can be like, the reason I feel called to talk about it is because there is so many issues, and there is like Polly Berry, polycystic ovarian syndrome, and like endometriosis, and all of these different, like issues that are arising. And I even have to be careful with my medical license, like saying in America, like how I think these issues arise, but I can just speak not I'm like going to take off my medical doctor hat. And then I'm going to put on my heart of my personal story. And I'm going to say that like my polycystic ovarian syndrome was a direct reflection of my assault, and me healing and working on my boundaries completely 100% Healed my polycystic ovarian syndrome, where and I had two doctors want to do surgery on me and I had, like, people wanting to shove birth control down my mouth. When I didn't, my body didn't want it and I don't like everyone gets to decide what they want for their own body, my body doesn't do well on birth control. And I think that our body is constantly telling us things. So I think that the very, very first place to start is to really know your truth and create a very sacred container for yourself, because your body is your spirit and your souls container. And like when you're looking at manifesting or creating a business or whatever it is that you want to do, your body is designed to take you there. So if you met you decide, you know, I want to start a business and I want to, I want to do whatever it is pottery, your body is going to, you're going to look it up, you're going to go to the place, you're going to like your intuition is constantly telling you do I go right? Or do I go left? Do you go to the pottery store on Main Street? Or do you find some amazing elder that is going to take you on their hand under their wing, and they're going to teach you everything that their grandmother taught you. And it's just like, I'm not saying that like that, like one's right or one's wrong. But your body is going to tell you which one is which. And it's like, you have to have all of your faculties running. And you have to be listening to what your body is trying to tell you. And when you aren't honoring or in honoring of your truth of whatever happened to you. And like you honor it inside of you. You're hiding different parts of yourself. And so those parts of yourself, you know, when I was talking about being disassociated, it's like, I'm not just like disassociating, like in that moment, like, with other people, I'm disassociating from me. And so then what was happening is I was having a hard time remembering things, and I was having a hard time in school and I was having a hard time developing more things. And then I got to myself to the point where I like pass the national board examinations in California for acupuncture, which is one of the hardest test in the world to pass for acupuncture. And it's just like, and that's from me saying yes to like owning all of the different layers of myself and being like no, like, my brain is my brain. And like I need to have all of my memories intact. And I'm saying yes to all of my memories, even the shitty ones. Because I know that when all of me is here, then all of me can show up for you know, my business and all the structures that I'm aligning in my business and as an entrepreneur, like you have to make hard decisions sometimes and you have to make decisions like am I going to take that interview or am I going to take that interview because there's only so many hours In the day, and each moment that you're in, is growing or planting seeds to grow into another moment. And so when you're when you're planting your seeds to grow into other moments, you're either planting seeds with the trauma in your body, or you're planting seeds in like a very light like holistic way that's gonna prevent, you know, like what I was talking about earlier, like these ancestral curses, like I'm not planting seeds of that energy out of my body and creating a creature that like that energy is attracted to or attracting, like, where it's like it's happening. And I think that that's where like, really, for people wanting to heal, like having a basic understanding of energetics. And I have a couple of different classes on it. I have a class on sacred sexuality. And I have a class on sexual healing and then a cord cutting class. It's like amazing for basic level. But for those of you that are like more on a budget, and it's like, you're not really into classing of classes, I would say the free practices that you could do is a meditation practice, a breathwork. Practice, there's tons of classes online. And I definitely think like committing to about a month of Kundalini Yoga, it's so intense, and like when you're moving really intense trauma, it can feel traumatizing to move that energy so aggressively, that I say, like, get the energy out of your body, like you do not need that energy in your body. And so it's like commit to just like, I'm going to do this for a month, even if it sucks. And I like just like, anytime that it's coming up really strong. I always, I think it's a great doctor case that she's a naturopathic doctor and Irvine area. She like does this exercise where she has her patients put her their hands on themselves and say, I've got me. And so you want to like make sure that you're, you say to yourself, you know, I've got me, I've got me. And so when you're going through the layers of trauma, and you're healing it, and it's getting out of your body, it is not pretty and like you and I talked about some of the experiences that I've had earlier. And it doesn't mean that it can't leave easily. But like when you it's intense, it's like sometimes it's intense leaving. So having some type of breathwork practice acupuncture is amazing to get energy out of the body. Fire cupping is amazing. But the places that I would start is know your truth. Have some type of meditation practice and have some type of breathwork practice.
Oh, so good. Yeah, I think it's so important to move the energy because the kind of like image that comes to my mind, and I think this is really just like yes, like it with all types of trauma. It's like energy that gets stuck and stored in different places in our body. And it's like, if there's like this beautiful, free flowing river, but there's this like giant ice cube or like giant ice cubes in it that are like blocking the flow or feeling stuck and not flowing freely. It's like by meditating by breathing into it by going into the energy feeling and allowing it through our breath and conscious awareness and presence to that energy, we dissolve it and melt it like back into the free flowing river so that it's not the ice cube isn't dictating our life anymore. And our reactions, our decisions, it's our flow, it's our intuition that then gets to drive the flow of our life, if you want to say,
totally, I mean, say why do we have these heavier traumas, it's like, it's like a bag of rocks, you're just carrying around a bag of rocks, and you're trying to like, you know, go hang gliding, but you you have this anchor. And so what how you just described it is exactly the way that we look at it and try within Chinese medicine is it's like how do we, you know, lighten the energetic load. So your your, your Qi is free flowing, because it's like you are like in Chinese medicine, like the humanity is like a conduit between the heavens and the earth. And so you have to conduct your energy and your energy has to flow. You know, like every breath that you take, you're pulling in information from the ether, you're pulling in information from the heavens, and then every exhale, that energy is like going out into this world. And so you're manifesting technically, like every breath that you're taking and giving, you're creating your energy into this world. And so when you're, you're breathing and you're you have this energy stuck in your body, that's what you're creating with. And so what we want to do is we want to create from a place of like, really divine fluid flowing energy out of the body.
Yeah, and I would agree with you that like meditation and breath work are such powerful places to start and Yeah, after talking to you and hearing your story, I'm I definitely want to like get back into acupuncture. I did it a few years ago and loved and haven't done it in a while. So I'm really excited. Can you talk more about the acupuncture that you do?
So I will I'll tell you about like my acupuncture journey first. Yes, I'll tell you about the style that I do. But um, so I got in three car accidents from like 17 to 20 and When I was nine or 1920, the car accident that I got into I kept having these like blackouts like I would just like blackout for a second. And I would happen like regularly and my neck hurt. I had headaches all the time. And the thought of getting my neck adjusted by a chiropractor made me cringe because I just felt like my neck was so weak. And my dad was like, you have to get this figured out. And I just like I was kind of at a standstill, like I didn't know what to do. And this is like simultaneously, I had just gone to two different doctors that wanted to burn holes in my ovaries. And I was like, No. And like at that time, it wasn't like you didn't listen to a Western doctor like him. A Western doctor wanted to do something, you just did it. And it was like, Absolutely not. It doesn't feel right for me. And so it was just like, kind of like we have to figure this out. And then like back and forth. So simultaneously, I get in this car accident. And it's crazy, because the car accident was such a blessing. So I ended up having these blackouts. And then one day I blacked out while I was driving, I was going through an intersection. And I just went white for a second scared the crap out of me because it's like, I kill someone or someone could kill me like you can't like me driving a car. So I pulled over and I was just crying. And I called my parents. And they're like, you have to go to a chiropractor, and I'm like, I cannot get my neck adjusted. So my dad ended up doing all this research. And he was like, why don't you try acupuncture? And my first response was no one sticking needles in me. That was sorry, that was before the car accident. The blackout? So after the crock said he did research and he was like, why don't you see an acupuncturist? No one sticking needles in me. So then after the blackout, I was like, I will try anything like anything that might work. I'll try it. So then I ended up going to my acupuncturist. Dr. Lie not in Long Beach, California. And he was asking me such personal questions. And I was a little bit I was like, why are you asking me this? I mean, your business? Like I have neck pain, like
treatment? Yeah, yeah, focus on the next place that
like real issues my neck. Like, wow, he handled me so well, too. He's like, Well, you know, like, in acupuncture, it's not just about the neck. It's like, we got to look at your whole body and figure out like, why did this happen. And now it's like, even the car accident, like now I think about it, my energy was not flowing properly, because when your energy is flowing properly, and I'll tell you from my own personal situation, since then, my energies like first of all rewind, I'll tell you that story. And then I'm going to tell you about energy flowing properly. He ended up talking to me, I ended up opening up to him, I cried so much in the next six months, just like purging of like tears and sadness. And like, he put me on herbs for six months, he completely fixed my menses, he completely healed my polycystic ovarian syndrome. And then not only that, like I felt so much more intuitive with myself, I felt so much more in knowing of my boundaries. Before I was such a people pleaser. I didn't know where I started and other people began, like it was just like, it was just so a meshed. And then it's like, you start to get a sense of like, where your edges are, and where your boundaries are. And it's like this rhythm moving through you, you know, and like, the way that I would describe it is like when you have, like you go to the ocean, there's like a clear edge of where the ocean is the wave and then the sand. And then the wave can come and go. And that can that boundary can move. But at a certain point, you're in the ocean, and then at a certain point, you're on the land. And that is the same thing with your boundaries. And I believe that with acupuncture, we get to feel ourselves, like the ocean in the land, you know, like, we're the ocean, and we have this, like, we have like such depth inside of us. And then the other beings are on the land, we can feel and we can choose like How deep are we going to allow this person in? Or how are we going to push them out? And so it's like, we think about ourselves more in terms of nature. So he fixed that completely. And then I was sold on acupuncture. And I asked so many questions, because I just did not understand like my Western mind could not understand. And I was just like, where's the and I could feel everything. I'm like, where's that go? Where does that go? Because I could feel the lines zipping in my body. Like when he would put needles in. I could feel it like shoot somewhere else or shoot out of my body, like shoot out of my hands. And I'm like, What is leaving, like, what's happening? Like, and he's just like, feel like, you need to go study acupuncture. Like you have so many questions. And I was like, No, I'm like, because I like I was so insecure then I was like, Oh, I'm not smart enough for that. And he was like, I think you are though. And I was just like, and then when I worked with that medicine woman, she ended up being like you're gonna go study acupuncture, and she was very psychic too. So she was like she said I that was my Next stop. And that was kind of like the journey into acupuncture. And then I got acupuncture every week for like five years. And it's just like, literally, sometimes twice a week, sometimes three times a week, because I could, I was studying it, and I had access like that. And now it's like, I have it every two weeks, because it's just like, it's part of my life. And it's a lifestyle. And I can't speak highly enough about acupuncture, like, not just for my own personal healing journey, but like for other people, like, I've helped. So like 1000s of people at this point in my life, and some people just seeing one time this, this sexual healing treatment that I designed, like I can get people back online, like one time, like one treatment is just researching the energy of their body. sedating their nervous system, rewiring the muscle, like the nerve intervention, like how your nerves communicate, to like, the lower extremities of your body. Like I've had women that like, haven't been wet and 40 years after their assault, and like one treatment, they're drenched, like reproductive. And then I saw, yeah, I've had women that like, have been assaulted, and like have never felt their legs afterwards. And then like one treatment, they like, they're like, Oh, my God, I can feel my feet and they start crying. And it's just like, the treatment that I designed is like, I had so much like, bullshit therapy. And I'm not like I like there's only so many times you can go to a psychologist, and like, talk about it. It's like, I don't want to talk about it. I just like want my body to work. Like,
yeah, it has to go into the body. Like there have that energetic layer.
Yeah, yeah. And it's just like me to back to the car accident. It's like, I know now that like when your energy is free flowing. And this is a Taoist technique, as well. It's like when your energy is free flowing, you will predict and you will move out of harm's way before harm hits you. Like if you're studying nature, it's like with like the tsunamis and like different issues that happen in the world, all the animals leave, like all the animals are gone when that shit happens. And it's the humans that are not like listening and paying attention and hearing their environment that stay. And so it's because animals will feel a sense of move, they just listen to nature. And nature is always telling us things. So that car accident I didn't avoid. But when I started getting in, like my meditation practice, and like really understanding like how important it is to be grounded and to be centered, and to be listening to our whole space. I had this one time where like, I was in the car, and it was the first rain of the year. And this is like after I've been doing acupuncture and these Dallas techniques. It was the first rain of the year in California, which the roads could get really slippery from like all the diesel like that the way that the diesel, I forget what the word is. But the way that the diesel is like get rid of a lot of fluids. The roads can be very slippery on the first rain. And so it's like, the first rain of the year. And I'm like, it was so weird. It was like time to slow down for a second. And I was just like you need to move over. Like you're not safe. And so I'm in like the, the far left lane. And it's like the only thing over is like the side lane. And then it's the other side of the freeway. And then it just like but I was so calm, it was just like, Okay, I'm just gonna, like move over, I slid over and the car in front of me slammed into the car in front of me. And then there was all I've never seen anything like it, there was a four lane pile up, it went across every lane. All the cars hit. And then I was like, over on the side. And I was just like, that is crazy. But it's like we can when we're so in touch with nature, and we're so in touch with ourselves. We just get these like intuitive hits, like, I mean, if I wouldn't like you need to move over, like why do you need to move over, I would hit the car in front of me. And it was a pile up and it went across all four. And I've had so many stories like that happen. We're not like necessarily with car accidents. But just like with things happening, and I've had clients that I've like, randomly missed flights that have like gone down and like just like just little things like that of just like, you know, like doing the extra thing listening to your intuition. And like that, when you're listening like that and you're honoring it, it's like you you will in the Taoist way, you will stay out of harm's way and you can live it they could air they're all about longevity. It's like you live a good and long life and then you like relax into the afterlife. So it's like when we're when we're listening and we're healing and we're not like taking on you know, we're talking about like ancestral curses and ancestral like, like you're really listening to your body and even before you create another soul, you want to give that soul like the best Qi you want to give that soul the best energy you want to like, work with your prayers, work with your nutrition work with healing yourself to where you're not passing on trauma to that creature.
Yeah, it's really like a I just like clearing clearing out the things we've gathered from, I don't know, like past lives childhood past generations and like I feel like it's i My like intuition kind of gave me this like vision once that we're kind of all just like magnets, but we gathered these like barnacles that like get like stuck all over the mat. And it's like, it makes the magnet not quite as like, you know, magnetic because the barnacles are in the way. So it's like, well, we can cleanse and heal and release this energy and get it back to free flowing. It's like, we're naturally magnetic to, to, like you said to staying out of harm's way to our desires to our calling, and life to it mmm for
totally. And it is we are magnets. And so your dreams are a magnet. And it's like, it's like, how do you the way I explained it, even in the sacred sexuality is like it's really understanding molecules, and it's understanding atoms. And it's like, our energy, what like energy, like Einstein's work equals MC squared. It's like energy, like, how fast is that light move. And so you know, how, how, in tune with the universe you are is like I say, you can measure your power by how fast your manifest manifestations are coming into reality. So it's like, if you say, like, I want, I dream this, I want that, how fast is that able to make actual physical form, that's how you could measure your power. And so it's like, it's not like, it doesn't mean like, oh my god, I'm gonna be like a millionaire. That's not what I'm talking about. It could mean like, I want a latte. And your friend calls you and is like, Hey, I'm around the corner, I just got you a latte. And it's just like, like that, like, or you're like, I was on the phone one time. And I was just like, I was at home, like, by myself, and I was on like, a work call. And I'm like, I just want chocolates so bad. Like, I want them chocolate. So bad. And my mom is not like, a huge like, she's not like feeding me can't like never has been the candy feeder type of mom. She walks in and just like hands me a piece of chocolate. And I'm like on the phone. She just didn't say anything to me. She just handed me a piece of chocolate. And I've had the same thing happen where it's like, I've had a boyfriend, like, like, not have a phone and I'm like, caught or need milk, like, and then he like just brings me milk. And I was like, why'd you bring me that? He's like, because I knew you needed it. Like and it's just like, Yeah, your your people are just so in touch with you. And it's like that's a part of the other reason why like we really want to release trauma in a big way is because we want our people to be so in touch with us. You know what I mean? Like we want we want to be able to send out the signal like that.
So good. Yeah, I've had so many things like that happen. And I think it's important to when that does happen to like, acknowledge and own that as your power like, look how powerful of a creator I am. Yeah, and get excited about it. Celebrate it, love it. So good. Okay, I want to see if we can I would love for you to go into what what that process was like for you setting those strong boundaries and getting to the place where they're they're now honored. Like what what was that like for you? What are your thoughts on boundaries? Oh,
my God. Hi,
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i That is such a long, long. I mean, it's been a huge process. It's been it's been every holiday, every Christmas, it's been a fight. And when I was 19 and I first came up like and I was like I want the boundaries, it was really confusing because I love my sister and my niece and nephew so much like I love them so much. They're like such a big part of my heart, my soul and even like, when I've like done the deeper, I've done like really deep like trauma healing and like trauma healing inside of my womb and like worked with like more internal therapists that go internally and they like massage and they'll like like inside the vaginal canal and they're like, like trying to turn your body back on. And I do that work with my clients too. But it's like when I when I was like going in and like turning my body back on because like you turn yourself off and like so many ways that like this slivers of like being disconnected from my sister and like disconnected from my niece and my nephew at certain times have been like, really traumatizing to my body because like I had to choose my own safety of like not having their dad and not having my sister like her husband in my life. And like there's like that is like there's just slivers of lines that you disconnect when your heart hurts so bad. And so even like, in that healing realm. And I think that the all of this is important to talk about, it's like, when I was turning myself back on, I could feel just like, like my ability to nurture others was impacted because I was like, Oh, that's so painful. Like being connected to them is so painful. So that is important. Because in the first layer of boundaries that I did, I didn't like stick with them because of the pain of not having not being so close to my sister and not having like my nieces and my nephew and in my life. And that was just like, so traumatizing. And so I caved in my boundaries after a couple of years. Like when I graduated college, I was just like on my graduation day, just crying that my sister wasn't there. And like, it's just so devastated that my sister wasn't there. And I'm like, is it worth it? Like is this isn't this decision that I made worth it like not have like, I'm so sad right now. And then like then going forward. It's like him being really inappropriate again, when I like lapse on my boundaries me reinforcing them, like him getting invited to like vacations and just like just like, and I'm like, I don't want to be around him like, What don't you understand? And so then it was like really conversations with my parents, where my parents think that they're like Switzerland and they don't want to get involved and nobody wants to get involved. And everyone's just like, Oh, you're being crazy. And I'm like, I'm not being crazy. Like, we now have at this point. Nine little girls in our family, nine of them. And I'm like, ooh, Leah and then as like the little girls started just being so beautiful. I mean, they're beautiful when they're born but like just like so beautiful and so full of light and so just like yummy, but like not like to me it's not like yummy. Like I'm not like
me it's not creepy.
Like I'm god, you're so yummy. Like I just like love you so much. And I'm just like they're just like light and they're sparkle in their eyes and I just like my like mama bear energy just got getting stronger and stronger and stronger to the point where it's making me sick. Like I would literally like start throwing up and being nauseous and like getting headaches. And I'm just like, no, like, like, my whole body is like screaming No, and I'm like get him The fuck out of our lives. Like, he's not a lot of birthdays, he's not a lot of baby showers. He's not a lot like, like where these girls are, he is not allowed and I just wrong and it like, I'm just like, fierce like, I will shred you with my teeth fierce. And I just like, and I'm not kidding, like, I know that that's like crazy, but like my, my animal instincts got like really intense. And then like I were ended up where it is now. It's like I was like, no, like, I sent a 10 page deck on my boundaries like, and when I'm like, I'm a businesswoman, like I make decks all day long, like, for like, all kinds of stuff from like, the entertainment lawyers of the world to like, you know, other studio had execs like whatnot, but it's like, I love a presentation. And like, as you can see in like people that want to take my classes, like I spend a lot of time creating really beautiful presentations to get my point across. And I sent a 10 page deck on like, the date, everything happened and like the repeated offenses, and then I sent out like, scholarly like, like research article, like I sent, like all of it, you know, like for all, like police, like the report from the police report, like making it very clear a picture of myself. When I was that age, like, just like, here is the facts, here is what happened. And here's what I need going forward. And so when you're stating the boundaries, it's like saying out of feelings, it's like, I was like, there was one page that was like, I like it was literally fax dates. This is what happened, this is what happened, this is what happened, no motion. And then it was like, he went to jail, then this is what happened after he went to jail. And then it's like, there's a direct correlation between what is going on with me and what your guys's perception of a personality disorder and me being disrespected in this family. There's a direct correlation. And there's also a direct correlation with like, me, like not now, but then not choosing proper maids. Because of this, because it's like, when you when i For me personally, like, when I'm like, when I was in college, I was so embarrassed to tell anyone about my family, and like really good looking really beautiful, bad. And that like were really interesting to me. I am like with really nice families, I'd be like, like, I can't tell him, like so then I would like unconsciously and sometimes consciously sabotage the relationship because I just like wasn't comfortable being vulnerable, and like, allowing them to get to know me. And it's like, even, like now like, even last year, I was dating somebody and like, when he was like, oh, like said something about my family. And I was like, Oh, I'm not talking to my family right now. And he's like, what, why? And he I was like, I just like, I'm just not talking to them right now. Because it's like, when the boundaries weren't fucking clear, like sign on the dotted line like they are now. There's a lot of like movement, and I was very comfortable and my post of like, Fuck no, and fuck off. You know, like, and I was held holding that energy. And it was just like, when I and then he pushed it. And then I was like, I gave him a very Reader's Digest version of it, like a two minute cliff note version. And he's like, Oh, that's heavy. And he like literally left within like 10 minutes, because he like, couldn't handle. Like, knowing, you know, and like, then I was so comfortable with myself that I would like laughed because I was like, it's not like, yeah, thank you. Like, I didn't do anything. Like I didn't like I was like born into this, like, okay, like, sorry, I was born like, you know,
sorry, they created me. And it's just like, and I don't like, again, like, I really love my parents, and I love my siblings. Like, I feel like we're as a family. We're all on the page of dealing with it, and it hurts everybody to deal with it. It really does. Like it's so much pain. And it's like, people are getting left out. Like there's kids involved. Like, it's sad. It's really, really sad. And I think that like even when you're looking at the deepest, deepest layers of like he was assaulted and like, it's like it's a bunch of trauma, feeding into trauma. And like when you're creating and designing the boundaries. It's sad. It's so lonely, and it's sad. And I think that that's like, it's important to remember I like I have a lot of therapy. I've have a lot of elders that I work with. I've sat in a lot of different ceremonies. I've done like teepee and like water ceremony and like really like I have a very, very, very, very strong prayer practice. And I have a very strong community. Like I have a lot of people that really love me outside of my family and relationships that I've built outside of my family that like I was very even in my most unstable moments. I was very stable, if that makes sense to you when you have a family structure like that or you like not in I've just like a family structure when you're, when you're needing to design and create boundaries to keep yourself safe, you have to have, you know, other people, other particles that are like, you know, helping protect your energy, space and ground you and, and I think that like grounding is so important, like grounding with the earth, and then also grounding with people that are really important to you. And you're important, because those are the tethers that are going to keep you here even when you don't want to be here. Because like, and I will say that there was like parts of it. Especially towards the end before I sent that like, deck that was like, honored. There was times where I'm just like, it's just so exhausting. Like, I'm so tired of fighting for myself. And I'm so tired of having the conversation. I feel like it's embarrassing that I even have to have the conversation. But I think that it's important when you're designing boundaries that you, you know that you belong here, and you have a right to be here. And it's so important that you're here. And life is such a precious gift. And it's so magical. And that like, like, I love the sage, I think this is the Bible, but this too shall pass. But it's just like that saying, like, or whatever mantra that works for you. It's like this is gonna, I'm going to be okay, like, I've got me and I'm going to be okay. And like understanding that it's just a wave, it's just a wave in the blood position and the blip of the matrix, and it's not your life, it's like, that was a bad moment. It's not about life, and you have to have these different mantras. While you're going through it, I highly recommend having a vision board. I mean, I have like my whole I have like this entire huge ass deck of Nucci that's like my company and all the classes that I teach, and I just look like holding it was like, I love my work, you know, but it's like, I think that when you have you want to have something that you love, or a passion or a hobby that you can relax into. And like also, but just relationships that are like your safe haven like build those like spend time building those relationships, and like having fun and going out dancing and just like living life, and doing your trauma work, not just like traveling,
you know, getting this put our heads down and yeah, to the really uncomfortable stuff all day every day and
have no want to have a balance of it and like you wear it and understand that like the trauma work is such a lifelong journey like me when I was 19 first healing my polycystic ovarian syndrome, to me being 33, which I just told you like after I sent that book of my boundaries to my family. Like immediately after I got so high like and I'm into the psychedelic world, I'm into like doing all the different rituals and all the different ceremonies. And when I set my boundaries, I got so hot, so physically high, I it felt like I was on drugs, like if not drugs, medicines, I'm gonna say medicines. It felt like I was on a medicine. And I wasn't it was just like, my energy started spinning so fast. And I felt so freeing. Like it felt so freeing knowing that I have got me so hard that like my career fully funds my whole life, everything that I want in life, my career, crushes it for me. And not just that, but like I have a beautiful place I live in I have a beautiful community, I have a beautiful life. And if these people don't want to honor me and respect me and like love me for what I need, then I'm okay walking away from it, because I've got me. And when I got myself to that place, it was so freeing, it was like, like these shackles just like released. And then afterwards, I like after everybody received my boundaries. I had one of the worst menses that I've ever had in my life, like blood clots and just like things leaving my body that didn't belong. And I felt like that curse that ancestral curse that was inside of my body that I literally was born with, left my body. And I feel like, I feel like I can finally have children. Because before I felt like I wanted children, but I just always had felt like I needed to heal more before I could create a life. And it was just like, I think that when we're looking at dealing with the trauma work, and we're looking at, like, where to start and everything is just the starting is just saying yes to it. And then I think being patient for the unraveling and I don't think that like this round, is it like I think that there's gonna be more layers that come I think that this round, you know, right now is like where I'm at. And I think that when I do have children finally, it's probably going to bring more rounds of it. And it's just you being available, to see and to harness and to know and I will say that like being a doctor, I'm so grateful that I had this experience myself because I can I can articulate, you know, the deeper layers of it with like the polycystic ovarian syndrome and all these different menses issues that I've had in my life and tell you personally that like my menstrual cycle is usually so good. Like it's just so like I love my menses, I love the deeper introspection work. I love how psychic I am on it. Like I love all the layers and even like this time, like I love that my body is so genius that like it's so in touch with where I'm at in my life, like I immediately started my period. As soon as everyone received my boundaries, my body just dropped that and it's like, when you're listening to your body, and you're listening to the deeper layers, and you're being your own medicine person with what your body is telling you. I think that's power too. It's like power back into your own hands. And I'm always telling people like you're your best doctor, like you're your best teacher or you're your best guru, you just have to be quiet enough to listen.
Yeah, totally. And I love what you said about like taking the power back in your own hands. I think that was like a huge turning point for me. Because, you know, for so long, I felt like a victim. And I didn't tell anyone for years. And I like numbed out and was struggling and like developed an eating disorder and all this stuff. And it wasn't until I you know, hired my first life coach, and she, you know, gave me a little bit of like, tough love. I forget exactly what she said, but just something along the lines of like you were a victim for, you know, two minutes, which Yeah, okay, that really sucks. And it shouldn't have happened and all this stuff. And like, the healing is on you. Yeah, like you, it's in your power. And it was like taking back that power and realizing like, Oh, I'm not just like, have to sit back and have an awful life and all these like health problems because this thing happened to me. It's like we have the power to heal and to have that beautiful life. And I think that there I think it's also like the going into the healing like it can be so intense and difficult and like really, really intense heavy emotions. But at the same time, I also feel like it's a gateway to, to releasing to growth to freedom to trusting yourself more to following your intuition more and what you said about like, I've got me so hard, that just resonates so much. And I felt that way when I had to text my cousin and tell him like, You're not welcome at our wedding. Like don't come because he was planning on coming even though he wasn't invited. I'm like, this is a fuck now. Like, you're not welcome and like to, you know, like, my family was like, oh, like, Are you sure you can, like text him? Should you text him? Like, what if what if he says something that like hurts you and I'm like, I don't give a font flying fuck, like, I was just odd that farmers like, I don't give a fuck, like I'm setting my boundary like, I am in my power. I am strong, I am capable. Like if he does anything I don't like, I'll fucking block him like I but he's not coming to my wedding. And I need to set that clear boundary. And to have that like, sense of like taking back your power and setting those boundaries for yourself is just so so powerful. It's so
powerful, and your body will thank you. And it's just like, it's you understanding, like, when you're setting a boundary like that you're setting a ripple out into the frickin world. Like you're setting a standard, you're setting an energetic standard for your future generations. And it's so important. And I think that it's like, that's like the people pleaser energy of like, even with myself, you know, where I was telling you about, like, and I mean, even like, there has been layers of it even now, because it's like, with my childhood, it's complicated, like this person has been with my sister for like, over two decades. And like, there's parts of me that do love him. And it's like, it's, it's, it is complicated. And there's parts of him that are very beautiful and like, and then there's the other side, you know, where it's just like, there's that other side that is not beautiful, and also not safe around children. And so it's just you even with you, you saying like no to that and like, and I've had the same thing, like I've had my family be like, well, you know, he's not a bad guy, or he's a great dad, or, you know, and I'm like, my sister's husband came to my work 10 years after he molested me as a child, and confessed his love to me. Like that is not a good dude. Like, yeah, no, it's just not a good dude. And the fact that you get like, and with my family, they all like, not all of them. I'm not gonna say all of them, like, some of my family has, like, felt so uncomfortable and like so worried about him. And like they I felt like they've been more worried about him than they've been about me. And I'm like, I was 10 years old. You know, like, it's just like, what you're saying, Well, what if he did it or that? No, no, yeah,
I'm so fucking
hard. No for me, and I think like, where we're dealing with and I've had really deep conversations with my parents like this is still a very misogynistic world. And it's hard being a woman where it's like, this man is not our blood, and he can walk into your family and he can assault One of your girls, and he can be with one of your other girls. And everybody's okay with it. And it's like, what is going on?
Ah, yeah, it's so strange. Yeah, what? Really? Oh, go ahead. No, it's
just strange just misogyny. I was like, this is misogyny at its finest. Like, you're more worried about this man than you're worried about me. And it's like, the boundaries happened like over years and times, like, it's like me having to like go to my grandma's funeral and mourn my grandma's death. And also, like, be so mourning my trauma at the same time. And it's just like, it literally wasn't getting away from me. Like, it's just chasing me everywhere. And I was just like, I got to a point where I'm just like, I have to choose my life. Like, I literally can't live like this. And now it's like, I'm choosing to talk about it, because it's just like, I think it did Chase me for so long. And I'm just like, I'm not allowing it to take over me. And I also feel more passionate about helping other women especially like, now, where I'm like, when I found out those stats that I shared earlier about, like how much money women are making and how much, you know, I was very lucky. I was in Chinese medicine school, I had a bunch of doctors around me and I had a lot of therapists around me that like I could manage. And I mean, I had like, really frickin wise people, you know, that were like, have to dedicate your time do your studies, like, you can't let this take you out. And it's like, there was times especially like, after my grandma's funeral when it's like, I had to sit in the room with him. And then they were like, well, we didn't let him carry the casket. So like, they thought they were doing me a favor, because they'd Yeah, like, carry the casket. But you're also still like, he's right over there. And like, this is my grandma. It's not his grandma, like, and they're like, well, we can't really control who's at a funeral. And I'm like, oh, but you can. Yeah, and like, in retrospect, like, I wish that I would have, like, had a separate funeral with my sister, my other sister, who started out and she didn't go and it was our grandma wasn't his like, it's not even his wife's grandma. And so it was just, it was really, there's been a lot of pain and a lot of suffering in it. And I would say that, like, whatever that is, you know, like honoring your boundaries and listening and don't be scared to sit anything out. Like have your own fucking party, have your own funeral. Like, you're it's like, almost everywhere, light some sage, invite the spirit to bless you with their presence. Like Do not be afraid to set a wedding out. Don't be afraid to set a funeral up. Don't be afraid to set up birthday party out every single stance that you make, and you take when you're creating these boundaries with like sexual predators is a fucking win for the future generations. Yes, when and so you I want you to think about yourself as like, I'm doing this for the seven generations ahead of me, like I'm sitting out for my niece and I'm sitting out for her daughter and I'm sitting out for my future children. And it's like I'm taking a stand and guess what? They're gonna love you for that. You know, and you're creating a safer environment then then what you had every time you make
those decisions? Yes, it's like every time you make those decisions and every time you like, pop the store that will call like pop the store trauma in your body. It's like that energy doesn't it's not like the energy just disappears it's like that energy is like almost like taken back as your power and livelihood and health and energy and life for ality it's your Yeah.
And it is your lifeforce. It's your lifeforce energy, and it's it's your lifeforce energy that you give to your children and they give to their children. And so when you're saying yes, when you're just like, Oh, I'm just gonna like sweeping under the rug or whatever. It's like you're saying you're saying like I told my family I said, you not taking a stance on this is not it's not it's like not just misogyny. It's It is literally you are saying it is okay to molest to harass and to assault women and I do not stand for this. I literally said like, this is such a strong chord in my being and I do not stand for it. And and you being passive is you agreeing to harassment to sexual assault amongst our youth and amongst women. And I do not say yes, like, it's a hard no for me. And, and I just didn't stop, I didn't let up and even when people would tell me, I need to get over it. And when people would tell me, he's a nice guy or whatever they would tell me they would tell me all kinds of things I would just did not let up. I was relentless. And I still am relentless. And I will be relentless. Like until the day I die. I will be relentless around this stuff. Because it's like today, right now there's children getting assaulted, and there's women getting assaulted, like, and it's just like we have to start, like looking at things differently. And it's like the truth is is like the amount of credit there's not that many predators in the world. Like when you look at the world population, the world is inherently a good place. There's a very small percentage of predators in the world and they are repeat offenders. And so what we have to do is we have to really come together in a much, much, much bigger way. And we need to have these conversations and we need like you did, it was a hard no for you. I did it. It's a hard no for me. And people need to, like, take the torch, you know, like, because it's like, you know, what's going on in the world right now. It's like, who's in charge? You know, and like, my sister. And I would always like my older sister, like the one that's like, I'm very close to, would always be like, who's in charge, like, and so it's like, someone has to take charge, you know, and, like, with like mine and her education, she's a social worker, we just like kind of took charge. And we just, like, hit him with facts, and just like absolutely not. And then my brother just had a baby, and he just got on board too. And now it's like, majority is winning. And his wife is also very educated. And so we're just like, we're making a different story for our future generations. And we're making a different like we're really communicating on like, who we think is safe, who we don't think is safe, who's allowed at family events, who's not allowed at family events. And it's not your family is a sacred container. It is not a fucking free for all for the community. Like if you want to do charity work if people want to do charity work, do fucking charity work, go to the church go to like, go support the predators in the world. Go visit the jails. Go do whatever you want to do. But your family system is not affecting lions den for predators. Sorry. Your back and Uncle like guess what if Uncle Tom is a creep, he doesn't get to be on our little girls. Sorry, Tom. Mom, if you want to visit Tom in your spare time. Have a good day.
Yeah, yeah, my family and I we've all like talked about it now. Like, like you my immediate family like we're the inner circle, like this shit does not get in anymore. And we we talk about it. We're here for each other work, like setting that intention to create that, that container with each other. So yeah, so good. Do you have a little bit more time? Or do you need to go? Okay, I would love to move into sacred sexuality because I think it's such a related conversation to all of this like I know for for me, like, like you I was like, I didn't want to be around any men, I was so scared of being sexual or getting close. Or even having a boyfriend like growing up. I was just like, Don't touch me. Nobody get close, this isn't safe, like back, they'll fuck off. And it took a lot to really open up and allow people in and I'm still on that journey. Even with my fiance, we've been together for seven years, I'm still on that journey of like, breaking down those layers opening allowing him and allowing myself to receive love, receive pleasure. And I think it's so it was so connected to the trauma of like, like, I think somehow my body and brain saw it as receiving is it is not safe. And I think I've had to break down those walls. So I'd love to hear like what you think about that. I'll stop there. I feel like I could just go on and on. No,
I think it's all in. It's, it's such an important conversation. And like, I will even say like the it's taken me so long. Like I would say even until like the past couple years of like getting comfortable. And it's like this is after I've like I've really studied this stuff. And I know it conceptually but knowing it conceptually and actually having it an embodied practice are two separate things. And like, when I designed sacred sexuality, I designed it because I was like, I was attracting, like just like the wrong men wrong. Just wrong. And I'm like, why is this happening? Like why? Why? Why? Because my dad is such a beautiful man. He's like one of the best men I know. Like, just He's a fucking man. Like he's like, man, man. And
men like that to like, they're so respectful. So beautiful, like, would never cheat like are just like, they're solid dudes. And they're loyal. And they're solid. And they're hard workers. And like, yes, they have their issues we all do. But like, they're just like, I'm like, why is going? Why is not translating. Like that is what I grew up with. That's what I was raised with and like, why is it not getting attracted? And so that was like, part of like, when I looked deeper at my trauma and like, our trauma informs us like because it's like, what did that relationship with? Like, my sister in that whole thing teach me like one cheating is okay. That's like, at a young age. It's like, she cheated on her. And it was fine. Like, she just took him back. And then to that, like, my boundaries didn't matter. And so I had like a man projecting himself onto me and it was so uninvited. And then I was just like, so anytime any men would project themselves onto me, I would be like, Oh my god, I'm not safe. And it's just like it really intensely. I've just like, oh shoot and It's like, and it's like men should be allowed to, like push their energy on to if that's like if it's invited, or it's like it could go there. But what ended up happening was I, the first relationship I ever got into was a very violent relationship, emotionally, physically, all the ways. And it was safe to me because I felt like this is like all retrospection work. Like I felt safe, because then other men weren't allowed to project their energy onto me because he was so jealous. And so I felt safe in that. So I had to like, look at all of that. And so with sacred sexuality, you're looking at, you know, your, your history and development of like, when you were developing, what were you being informed with your development, and then I'm having you look at like Western theory and philosophy, which is like really understanding the laws of conservation and mass and like, how does your energy move? How are you picking up people's energy? Like, how does that like serve you? You're looking at your relationships, your life, because the sexual energy, like the way I look at sexual energy is it's not just like, Who are you attracted to? It's not this energy of like, okay, well, me and my partner, it's like, okay, why are you attracted to your partner? Like, why? Like, what, what is when you walk into a room? Like, why are your chemicals bonding to certain chemicals and not others? So then you're looking at, like, the physical theory behind it. It's like the energetic blueprint, that's actually moving you through your life and also creating your life. So sacred sexuality is you being so in touch with your sexual energy, whether it's like your creative life force energy of like, you're going to create a podcast and you're going to create a business or, or you're going to be with your partner. And so with your partner, and the work with your partner, it's like really understanding the theories like the Eastern theory, which is like yin yang theory, and like passive and aggressive and understanding the art of war and conversations even like, why are you fighting with this person? Because the truth is, is like, which I'm sure you've seen, when you get into a safe container, like you are with your partner right now. That's when the real healing happens. Like that's when the real trauma comes up. Because your body is like, Oh, my God, I'm safe. Now, I can take all my blinders off. You know, a lot of times when you're dealing with sexual assault trauma, I've had so many partners say to me, I'm being punished for a crime I never committed, I'm being punished for it, because it's like it sometimes women will like, not want to have sex for a while, or they don't want to be seen naked, or they have like these shame things. And this person is like, I am married you like we're married. And like, be with me. And I've had clients that are like, that I've because I do like sexual practices, like not like with my clients, but I like go like, especially with trauma in the container. Like I've done some very esoteric stuff, because I'm like, like, I think of sex, like a yoga practice, where it's like, where are you not plugging? Like, where's, like, where's the stretch not happening? And I've had women that I've seen that, like, literally hold their breath during sex. They've been with these guys for seven plus years. And they're just like, I'm like, What are you doing? Breathe. And it's like, so simple. And you're, they're just like, not breathing when they're having sex, even though they want to have sex with a partner. If there's been like, issues, you know, where it's like, anytime I come on to her, she freaks out. And it's like, they're married. You're married for like, a long, yeah. Because it's like, she can't handle that energy. So then it's like, okay, let's clear the aggressive energy of your soul out of your body first. And then let's like, I had one client, where I'm like, I had, okay, so this one I had her, she had been assaulted, she was going through therapy, or everything was fine. not fine. But like she was in a good place. She had a child. And then after the child, she had PTSD. And she freaked out anytime her husband would come on her, she went to a therapist was like, Don't have sex with your husband for three months and reset your nervous system. I was like, but I'm gonna reset your nervous system. Like that's gonna tear apart your marriage. So I was like, Listen, you need to have sex three times a week, but you he does not get to initiate right now you initiate and before you have sex, you're just gonna go, and you're just gonna sit on his lap, you're going to wrap your legs around his lap, you're going to look into his eyes, and you're just going to breathe there. Just breathe there.
And then have him breathe air and do that and tell him don't, this isn't sexual, I need you to just like, hold me and I need you to be my husband right now. And so I had her do that exercise. And she said it was so powerful. And then I was like, and then within a couple days, you're gonna come on to him, and you're gonna have sex with him. And then in a couple more days, you're gonna do that and you're gonna say, Intel? I tell you it is okay. Do not come on to me. I'm going to say no, but you cannot not have sex with your husband. That's like part of like being in a healthy relationship is having sex. Lots of sex like it's sex is so healthy.
And I think a lot of the healing is is in it too. It's a it's a portal for the healing and even like the physicality of it, like a lot of that trauma is stored in, in the vagina and it's like, it is Assange and leverage is so so healing to, to release it rather than just like avoid, don't touch it because it's to
know you breathe into it.
Yeah, your breath, work
your breath, work practice in your meditation practice translates into your science practice, the way that I look at sexuality as like, in my class, and even in my life, I break it down into different archetypes. And so it's like, there's like the healer, the lover, the mystic and the creator. And so it's like you, you kind of move through these different energies as you're having a sexual practice. So it's like if you're in like a creator practice, you're because it's like energy is neither created nor destroyed, it's transferred. And so enough energy has to manifest to make something into physical reality. And so we're like, sex is like such a fuckin powerhouse of energy. Like the orgasm is so powerful. And so like getting your orgasmic nature in alignment with your partner's have, like, what are you guys working on this week, like, what needs your energy, like what needs and like expressing, like, through a meditation practice, like before, like, and I like the way I look at Sacred sexuality practice is it's a practice. So you have like, either one week, one time a week, every other week, one time a month, whatever works for you. I like to think of it like church, like, people go to church, like once a week, like if you have a partner, make sure that you're tuning in once a week, and just like really tuning in with them and like treating your sexuality like a practice, like at least once a week, and then twice a week, it could just be you know, like, as you wish, like, get me in the hallway and like surprising. Anybody mean like, have it be a little bit more animalistic, a little bit quick, but then at least once a week, it's like, very drawn out. It's long, it's sacred. It's like, You're tuned in with each other's body, you're tuned in with each other's needs, like what do you need kind of massage, you can, like love that person's body. And there's different rituals that you do with like essential oils and massage and like, the way I like to look at it too, is it's like sometimes, like, one week, that person just might need more energy than you. So then you spend that hour or the two hours, like massaging them and like really like, harnessing your CI to, like, give to your lover. And it's like, when you have like longer periods, you know, like when you're in a lifelong journey. Sometimes you're gonna need more, and sometimes you're gonna need less. And so it's just like being able to understand the Yin Yang theory of the dance of life where it's not just like, well, you need to give me an orgasm right now. And it's like no, one journey. You don't always have to have an orgasm. Like sometimes it's just about that person. And sometimes it's just about you. And I'd say like getting like the basics of massage technique that basic essential oils are really nice because the essential oils ignite different parts of the brain. And like if you're just starting frankincense I think is the best one to start with is the only oil that passes the blood brain barrier and can work on neuro connections and so that's like so so good for the body. And
then you use it do you mix it with like coconut oil and use that as like massage oil or I have
no money oil. Yeah, like it me I'm like a crazy person. Like I have like so many friggin oils and
I have like 50 and I have frankincense so I'm like, I'm ready to use it tell me what to do.
Well, it's great like a coconut oil carrier is great. Also just like just smelling it and just getting the oil on direct. But if you're going to put it like you can just like do put a drop the oil. These oils are volatile, you don't need much like they're very strong. So you put a drop of oil you take it like three inhales you put it on the bottom of the feet. And then the like those will hit all the organs and like go into the body you can also massage the head and then you can take them like like the massage oil and just massage the body. But you don't have to get crazy with it like you can just like take a few breaths some people are like four drops and I'm like that's like no
I yeah, I put a fuck ton of tea tree in my bath years ago because I didn't know how essential oils work and then I broke out in hives. So yeah, also like use quality oils is another
Yes yes yes. You will have to use quality oils it's it's so so important because it's like if you're not using quality oils your immune system is going to fight oil so you want you want to use the highest quality I love there's never time and E F E R TM online it's his name's Mark and he gets his it's sacred frankincense from Oman and all the oils that Mark has he like goes and he gets the oils directly from the source and he has relationships with the different tribes that are like very much very quiet doTERRA and Young Living is just fine to like they have like they have really solid practices of getting it I just like I like to I like to know that it's like direct to like it's direct from the tribe to one person and then he's like he's really spent his time building the different relationships with it. And there's no like heart like they only actually do as much as the Earth will give like all these tribes that he's very cool. Yeah, and I love that I love the more sacred practice in it and like, the thing is is like even With marks oils, like you don't need a lot, just like one drop between the both of you. And it's just like you put it on both your hands and you just smell it because it's like you're wanting to get the aromas in the air and in your body, and then you put it on the feet. So that would be like a great one to start. Peppermint is also marked, I don't think Mark carries peppermint, but you could get it from doTERRA or Young Living, that's going to really open up the lungs. So, so good, like all background breathing, breathing with your partners, so good. And like how you start to work through the trauma is just like eye gazing, breathing. And also not even like people that aren't even like traumatized, like having that type of practice and like a permission based practice. And then also, like, when you're working with trauma work. It's like sometimes when I'm doing internal work with women, I can feel their boundaries before they do. And I'm like, you just had a boundary, like, you have to tell me, I don't want you in my body right now. And then they when, like, when I make them say it, I said, Tell me to get my hands like out of your body right now. Like, tell me and they're like, then they start literally, their jaw will stop. And I'm like, Tell me right now. And then they tell they tell me and then they just break down. And then that's when the tears happen. So like, and it's not just like, like this is like so medical, when we're trying to release the right out of the like the vaginal canal. So medical, it's like, it's literally like, here's a hard spot, here's a hard spot, here's our spot. But when the right when the body pushes back, I'm like, the body's done. Like anymore today. And people aren't always comfortable saying I don't want that. So like when you're working with your boundary work. It's so important like for your partner to be so in tune with you like maybe you don't want to have sex. And if you don't want to have sex in that moment, part of your job to help your body heal is to state your boundary, you know, where it's like, I'm not really feeling this right now. Or, you know, you don't have to force yourself into anything, I think that you do have to like as if you're developing a sacred sexuality practice, I do think you have to show up to the mat. You know, like, make yourself there. And sometimes it's in yoga, and sometimes it's a Vinyasa hot flow, and 190 degree, we're not 100 Agree or whatever, you know. So it's like if you have to monitor that, but I would say always show up to the mat. And then like when you're especially if you're working through trauma, you really want to work with your partner through the trauma. So it's like, you know, slowing it down, taking a breath, asking them to hold you saying you need a little bit more of emotional container right now. Like, how do we for a minute, like my body needs to warm up to you. And like the woman's body takes about 30 minutes to actually warm up. So like huge on foreplay. Like really, really take your time with the foreplay. And it's not just like, oh, let me just stick it in there. Like no, she needs to be really wet. And like and like if you really do foreplay, right, she will be really wet.
Yeah. That's like the body saying like, yes, like, man, you're
allowed. And if it's not wet, like if it's not why it's not time.
Yeah, yeah, a little harder. Oh, my gosh, so good. I had one more question on this for you. So you mentioned like, when you're doing the like medical healing with your people, like sometimes there's like a shutdown. What about during sex? If there's like a shutdown, where you just feel your body go into like, nope, like, and then you kind of like, you lose your like wetness or for the man they go, they get soft, and there's like, just like a energetic like, shut down, like, Nope, can't receive doors or walls are up, like what would you suggest a couple of can do to to move through that. It's like, do you like we've, we've had times where we stop and we like go deep into conversation, then we've had other times where we kind of almost like I don't have pushes the right word, but like, come back together and like move through. So do you have any thoughts on that?
Yeah, I mean, I think it's so case by case case, moment by moment, like I've had, like, when I've hit different walls inside of myself, I've like been like, Okay, I'm just gonna, like, breathe through this. And my partner was also like, very much studying sacred sexuality with me. And so it's just like, maybe it's your trauma, like, it's your wall, like, whatever you need me to do. And so in that moment, I was like, I'm just gonna, like, breathe through it. And so then I would use, like his penis, like to, like, push into it. And then I would be the one in control where I would be at walls. And just like, really uncomfortably breathing through it, you know? And then there's some times where it's like, that's not the vibe, like, it's just, it's time to pull out and just like switch thing. And it's like, I think that when you have a second sacred sexuality practice, it's not about like the outcome of, we're getting off and we're both having orgasms. It's like, this is a time that we're connecting. And we're connecting really deep into each other, and we love each other and we want to connect so deeply, and it's not attached to the outcome. And so yeah, it's like, what you just said, like you have done it where you you slow down and you work through it, and then you have done it where it's like you stop and you go into a deeper emotional process where sometimes it is a deeper emotional process. It's like And I've had that happen to where it's like, I have been with my partner. And then like, when we're getting really intimate, then I feel my own boundaries to him of like, I'm mad at him for something. And then I like pull out. And then I'm like, I'm feeling this type of way, you know? And it's like, always, like, can we talk about this right now, like, and like making sure that that person has space for it. And then it's like, I feel like I'm hitting a boundary. And like, I really want to love you right now. And I want, I want to embrace you, and I want you inside of me, and I want all this, but it's like, I'm feeling this boundary, because I feel frustrated. Because like, I felt like, when we were here, you treated me like this, and it hurt my feelings. You know, and then having them be like, I'm sorry, I hurt your feelings and like, and it's all beautiful. Because it's like, yeah, your boundaries. And you're like, wow, I want to I want to like, attack you right now. There's nothing more than I want to have sex. But the thing is, is like, I don't want to have sex because I'm pissed. Yeah, then it's like, and it's okay, like your anger, like, and that's why I love the sacred sexuality class, because it's like, all of your emotions are fine. Like, everything is safe to have, like, you're allowed to be mad, you're allowed to be angry, you're allowed to be frustrated, you're allowed to be worried, you're allowed to be fearful, you're allowed to be whatever. And it's just like, it doesn't mean that you're going to react from it. The part of having a sacred sexuality practice is understanding your energy. So you're not reacting, it's forming. And you're, you're creating better barriers, and you're creating more more of a sacred container. So it's like if you're feeling a type of way, and you're studying like nonviolent communication, where it's like, I feel this way, I know that my feelings are not always accurate. And I have traumas that I'm moving through. And like I but I'm also feeling this. So can you please like, Go me, and this feeling that, you know, and then you allow your partner to show up for you. And it's so beautiful, like, and I've been in, like, open relationships, and I've been in close relationships, and I've had, like, all kinds of sexual adventures and like, it's just like, when you have these practices, it's so beautiful. And it's not just like, like, for you specifically in your partnership. It's like, you guys can work through so much stuff, and it gets really psychedelic. Like, sex is the best psychedelic on the planet. I think, like better than anything, and when you learn how to move through these different layers, you start having bigger and bigger and bigger orgasms. And like better able to like really move your energy and like yeah,
I've had like rock your like whole body and the girl and yeah, like one time
like with one of my partners, and we were having like we had a really deep sacred sexuality practice. And one time after me we would do like thing we would do nights where like, he would get like, I would like work on his body for like, two hours and pleasure him and I just like wouldn't receive that night. And then he like vice versa. And so like some nights were like it was just like him receiving and some nights it was just me receiving. And one time I actually pleasured him, and I ended up having a psychedelic experience. And I didn't have thoughts for like three hours. I'm Brainiac like for me not to have thoughts. Like, he was like, You're so quiet. And I was just like, what just happened? Like, I don't think because you learn how to build the energy up, you learn the orgasm up. And so then when he ended up having an orgasm, it was just like it like lit up my whole world too. And I was just like, What the fuck is happening? Because it's like, I don't really like I'm still learning all this stuff. I'm just as much a student as the next person. I'm just like, learning about it. And then I'm teaching about it and like learning more than teaching more. And so it was just like, it was crazy. I like saw like, it was like my whole mind open. I had a psychedelic experience. I saw a bed of peach roses, with this hummingbird flying around. And I was just like, what is happening? Like, it was like, I took some like DMT or something. And I've never even done DMT I've just heard stories and bodies afterwards. And I'm usually like, that's that I've done a lot of that. And I'm like talking talking, talking. And he's just like, be are you okay? So good. And like I didn't even cover anything. Oh, weird. I was like, I love that. I literally don't have any thoughts right now. And he's like, wow, he's like, I'll do this every morning. Yeah. Hi, go ahead.
Yeah, I was just gonna say it becomes less of like a I don't know, like a transaction and like a thing to check off the box and it becomes like yeah, and experience and expander a practice and like yeah, I love hearing that so much that
your practice and it's like it's so fun when it's that way and like learning like I think I'm learning massage techniques like him and I both were excellent at massage like, like the fucking like both of us were like so good at it. And so it was just like, it was fun. Yeah, and I also like for me personally like part of my love language is giving like that. And so like for me like giving to him in that way, like just feels so good to me. And then like and then it's almost like you're thirsty for them to give to you like it's not just like combo Like we're both done. It's like this constant court ship energy where it's like, yes. Quiet, you never really get quiet enough. And you're always wanting more.
Yeah. And that like translates like, then like all throughout your life, and it's just like dance of energy. I could go on forever, but I've had for a long time. So we'll wrap it up. Thank you so much. Is there anything else in your heart today that you wanted to share? And then afterwards, I'll have you shared all your links and programs and where everyone can find you and all that.
Yeah, I think that like for everybody listening, every single person could benefit from being trauma informed, because the the statistics are so large, like how many people have been assaulted and harassed, and it's like, consent is so good. And like, even if you're married to somebody, like always checking in with them, like, it's not like, people's bodies are not a free for all. And like, sometimes it is, like fun to be ravenous and wild and animalistic, and but at the end of the day, it's like, whoever's in front of you, is a sacred being, and you're a sacred being. And I do believe that sex is so sacred, we can create an actual physical life, or we can continue to manifest all of our dreams through our sexual practice. And so my advice would be for everybody listening, whether you want to, like take a class or not, it's like really start like to set your prayers and your intention forward to having a sacred practice. And I promise you like, it literally pays, it pays for itself, it really pays for itself, it makes life and sexuality so much more fun, so much more exciting. And if you don't have any essential oils, I would highly recommend at least getting frankincense and peppermint to like add into your practice. Or even like if peppermints a little too strong a Eucalyptus is really nice to open up the lungs and to really start repairing the neural pathways in the brain.
So good, and where can everyone find you hang out with you work with you all.
So I'm actually starting a podcast, I have it all like rolling out there, it's like all rolling out. So that is online on. I'm calling it on edge. And then that's exploring that between the sacred and the profane. So it's like a lot of different elders and wisdom keepers and then also like, crazy other stories. There's gonna be I'm at Dr. Sheila Emery Campbell on Instagram. And then if you want to sign up for any courses, it's Nucci dot U S, and U ch. i.us. And then you can find me on Instagram you can email me at info at nu g.us. If you have any questions, I have the sacred sexuality class. And then I also have the sexual healing classes and a bunch of other classes on cord cutting and all different types of stuff like energy medicine, cleansing rituals, and whatnot. So it was so good to connect with everybody and thank you so much for having me.
Thank you so much and sending you so much love and to everyone listening sending you guys so much love and I will see you on the next episode. Thank you so much for listening to the magnetically your podcast. If this episode serve, do I ask that you share it with someone who could make a difference for or share it on social media and tag me at magnetically do make sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss any of the magic. And it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review on iTunes. Thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart for being here. And I will see you in the next episode.
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