Q&A: divine timing, manifesting money, getting clear on what you want and manifesting your soulmate

podcast Dec 29, 2020

I received some JUICY questions for this Q&A episode. These questions really expanded my thinking and perception and in this episode I'm just thinking out loud with you and letting you in on what came up for me when I considered these questions.

I don't have all the answers but I'm sharing my honest experiences and thoughts and my aim is to that considering these questions with me opens you up to YOUR truth too.


Here are the questions I dive into answering and pondering in this episode:

✧ I have been wondering about how they say that everything is and goes as it's meant to and happens at a divine timing, and at the same time it's supposed to be us creating our lives and future. Does this mean that people who never learn about manifesting and stuff and end up living a miserable and unfulfilling life were meant to have it that way and die with their dreams and potential inside of them? I'm just confused about the balance between our own responsibility to make things happen and trusting that things will end up perfectly anyway. And whether or not it's never even supposed to get good for some people. It seems a bit harsh. (3:44)
✧ What are your best tips specifically to someone who really wants to manifest abundance and money, and is currently struggling financially? (18:28)
✧ How do I get clear on what I want? I had a natal chart reading not long ago. It showed my planets representing a duality of sometimes wanting to be small, other times wanting to be big. I am in a phase where I no longer want to be small, I want to step up and change in profound ways and be more bold, and big. How do I get clear on what that can look like for my life? :) (32:50)
✧ I'm seeing a manifesting partway, and I'm seeing one attribute I'm looking for, but then a million red flags. I keep hearing everywhere to be specific in what I want with a guy.  So I ask for specific things like looks, truck, career, personality, attachment style, etc. and I keep running into guy after guy after guy and they have a few things that I want to manifest but their personality is red flag after red flag. It’s like I’m not manifesting right. Like I’m missing SOMETHING. And I’ve been trying to listen to everyone and get my mind and soul open to the universe. (40:34)
✧ How do I manifest a romantic partner? I think I'm stuck. (43:55)


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Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the magnetically used podcast. My name is Madison Surdyke. I'm a master mindset coach and food freedom expert, you're in the right place. If you want to manifest a life that means you jump out of bed excited I have every morning, reprogram your mind for success and happiness, feel your best and become magnetic to everything you desire. For me, killing my relationship with food was my gateway into mindset, spiritual and personal development. And now I am obsessed. And I realized the same thing became true for so many of the women. I've coached through my course the subtle art of food freedom, and doing the inner work around food became about so much more than food for all of us. So that's what this podcast is really about that expansion, expanding that inner work to all areas of our life so that we can become the most magnetic confident versions of ourselves and achieve our biggest dreams. If you're like me, and you're obsessed with personal development, then you are going to love this podcast. So let's freakin do this.

Hi, and welcome back to the magnetically you podcast. I'm your host Madison. In case you don't know yet, if you hang around here, welcome back. So I'm really excited about this episode, because I asked you guys on Instagram and my email list if you had any questions for me. So I'm going to answer those questions. And this episode. So let me preface this with one I do not have all the answers. So I'm going to be thinking out loud with you. And just opening up the conversation with you for these amazing questions. And I'm going to share my honest experiences and thoughts and just know that like what I say doesn't have to be your truth, like you get to decide your truth. So with that being said, I'll give you guys an overview of the questions I'm going to be answering and then we'll get into it. Um, so there's one about divine timing, and taking full responsibility. How do we balance them? manifesting money and abundance for someone who is struggling financially, how to get clear on what you want. And then there's a couple about relationships that I'll address a little bit in this episode, but work I'm gonna go deeper into those into another episode because I perfect timing would have it. As soon as I asked these questions, I got two questions about a relationship. And I was like, okay, like, I was just thinking like, what is what comes up? For me when I think about these questions, I was just kind of like pondering the questions as they came through. And as perfect divine timing. You could say, what have it. This, this girl, Emerald, her Instagram handle is manifested Emerald, she's like a relationship and manifestation expert. And she, we just recorded an episode all about manifesting your soulmate. So we go much, much deeper into the relationship questions there. So I'm going to kind of like, answer those briefly, but then table them because we got so much deeper and that episode, which will be coming out maybe like late January or early February. So stay tuned for that. Okay, so let's just, let's just do it. The first question is, I've been wondering about how they say that everything is and goes as it's meant to, and happens at divine timing. And at the same time, it's supposed to be us creating our lives in the future. Does this mean that people who never learned about manifesting and stuff, end up living a miserable and unfulfilling life? were meant to have it that way and die with their dreams and potential inside of them? I don't know if that makes sense. I guess I'm just confused about the balance between our own responsibility to make things happen. And trusting that things will end up perfectly anyway. And whether or not it's even supposed to get good for some people. It seems a bit harsh. Ah, I just let's just all take a deep let's just breathe, question and ponder it. See, what are the what are like minds and body and intuition can come up with a deep breath in. And exhale. Okay, now I'm ready. Anyways, um, yeah, this is literally like the question and play. Right? I think this is something that we all question like, do things really happen as they're meant to like, is divine timing really a thing? Like, are we the creators of our reality? And I think these are powerful questions to be asking yourself, right. Like, you're not just taking what other people are saying for face value like you want to, you want to know what feels right for me, right? And like I would say like, the best way to know what's true for you is to just keep living your life experience and keeping your mind open to what you think and what you believe in knowing that there is no right or wrong. And in some ways, like, you know, we don't really know. It's kind of like everything. To me, it feels like everything is made up, right? Like nothing has meaning except for the meaning we give it. So if we're going to give things meaning, then why not give them an empowering meaning. So that's usually where my, like personal you could say truths come from, and they don't have to be your truths. Hopefully, this like conversation, like helps you ask yourself some like questions and think about what your truths are. But I kind of lost my train of thought. Anyways, coupon probably come back to me, I think I said was what I wanted to say. So also to like, we, we don't have to learn or know about manifesting in order to manifest like, we're all doing it, everyone's doing it. It's our natural birthright, it's who we are. And it's what we all do. Naturally, we're all doing it all the time.

So, I feel like, you know, like I was saying before, it's like, these are the questions that we all want answers to, right? Like, these are the big questions of life. So I'm not gonna, like, sit here and pretend that I have all of the answers, because I don't these are sometimes questions that I have, as well. And I think like, you know, what if? What if you didn't necessarily need an answer? What if you could sit with the uncertainty and the unknown of these questions and make the best of your life experience choose to keep an open mind and to choose the thoughts and beliefs that are most empowering to you personally? So what feels true for me is that what if? What if you are 100% responsible for your reality? What if you are the creator of your reality? And you can trust that things happen as they are meant to? What if there? What if you are the creator of your reality? and divine timing is real? Like what if both can exist? And I think so like in the spiritual world, it's like, there's so many paradoxes that seem to like contradict each other and don't make sense together. But it's not ability to hold that paradox and to hold those two kind of like, opposing things in your mind. And let it be okay. Like, that's where so much mouth magic. And power is because it's open. It's it's awareness, it's understanding, it's, it's just the ability to be at peace with what is right. And I think that it doesn't really matter what, what we believe or think, right? It just does this. Does this serve me? Does this serve the greater good? Is this empowering for me, and by believing this? Am I going to empower and support other people? And I feel like that's a dance that I've really been thinking a lot about. So it's funny that you asked this question, that dance between, like, I am responsible, I am the creator of my life. And, you know, things will just happen in divine timing, like, I've had times where I was like, Oh, it's divine timing. It's divine timing. It'll happen when it's meant to. But really, I was using that as an excuse to not show up fully. Like I've had times in my business where I've hidden and self sabotage. And I quote, blame divine timing, so that I don't have to show up, right. And so in that way, it can, it can be disempowering, because I wasn't showing up fully, I wasn't letting myself be seen. I wasn't taking responsibility for my life, because I was just like, Oh, well, divine timing, can't do anything about it got to just sit around twiddling my thumbs waiting, like, if you have that sense of sitting around twiddling your thumbs waiting, you're probably not taking responsibility and being the creator of your life. On the other hand, I've had times where it was obvious that it was divine timing. Like when I met Trevor, I could have never predicted and planned all of the, like events and things that happened in order to lead me to meeting Trevor at the perfect time that I did, like had we met a few years earlier. Just I don't think it would have been the same, you know, so to me, it's like, that really feels like okay, yes, that was so divine timing. So how do we know how do we know when it's divine timing? How do we know when it's not? How do we know when we're responsible for it? How do we know when we're not? Well, those are the truths that you get to decide for yourself. And that's, you know, maybe not the answer you're looking for. But you get to decide what you believe and what feels true for you. And so I would just, you know, in moments where you are questioning, you know, like, do some meditation, close your eyes turn inward, go to that place, within you words, just, like pure awareness and consciousness, right? Like the, you're aware that you're aware of all these things going on, and just just notice these thoughts coming up, let them come up. And, you know, ask yourself, like, what's what's really true for me? Like, what do I really feel in my body? about this and let that be? Let that be your truth? and let it be okay, that maybe you don't feel like 100% certain about it, but taking like being the Creator, to me. So that's kind of the way I see divine timing. It's like, it's, you know, is it real? Is it not? We don't know, to me, I like to believe it is because it's, it supports me and there's so many times in my life where because I, I believe in divine timing, it supports me in getting through something, and, and helps me see for someone else, that it's going to get better. Right. And so I think it's just about what's what's empowering. what's what's disempowering. As far as, like taking responsibility, being the creator of your life goes to me, that just means like, you don't let things outside of you determine what's possible for you. And you that, which means you're taking back the power in your life, because anytime you're blaming something outside of you, you're giving away your power. So if you if you have that sense that you're blaming, divine timing that you can't, you can't have what you want. Because divine timing, like that's a little clue telling you that you're giving away your power, right, like, so there's a different energy to I am the creator of my life. And I trust in life, like you can do both. And I think that's like, honestly, one of the most difficult things to do. And something I think we're all going to be figuring out to dance. Like, you know, sometimes we go really far one way, and sometimes we go really far the other way. And it's like, how do we like, dance around around that middle, that middle place where we are, where we are in our power we are, we do believe we are the creators of our life. And we're trusting we're trusting and we're letting things unfold. We're not being in this like overly controlling energy, but we're also not being in this overly like, my hands are up. I'm not in control of anything, you know what I mean? So it's just like, how do we find that dance? And how do we find that middle? I think that's life. But the point of taking responsibility for your life and being the creator of your life, like isn't, so that someone's to blame. when things don't go your way. It isn't to make you feel guilty, it's a chance to take back your power, your power, I don't know I said to pick your empower. Take back your power. And like whether it's true or not that you're the sole creator of your life, like is it empowering for you to believe that you are? And that's again, that's only a question that you that you can answer. And it's really like, when you're in your power, when you believe you are the creator of your life, like okay, I just had a little episode of divine timing myself. Not sure. It was divine timing. Trevor and I both work in the same little apartment, and he really likes to talk on the phone. And I get very distracted. So I bless him, sending him good energy. Okay, we're back on. Okay, so anyway, so t being the creator of your life is like, having a belief within yourself that you can steer your life, you can do anything you want, then nothing outside of you can get in your way, because everything you need is within you. And like how much more empowering is that? To believe than to believe? Oh, well, it's not up to me. It's up to something outside of me. That doesn't really support you. Right? Like, how do you show up when you believe that you are the creator of your life that your actions and thoughts and everything you're doing does make a difference? Well, you you show up, you participate you, you experience life, whereas if you believe that you're not in control of anything, then you're just like, Well, nothing I do matters. Nothing I do works. Nothing I do makes a difference. may as well just do nothing, right. It's not like giving up energy. So that's kind of what I think about divine timing and being the creator of your life and as far as whether it's supposed to get good for some people. Or not like I don't know it's like that word supposed to it's like like, suppose Do implies that we there's like, the future is already determined. And I don't know if it is, maybe, maybe not. But what is good even mean? Good according to who like good for one person might be bad for another and we all get to choose what good means for us. So you know, we might look at someone and be like, oh, they've It's so good. But maybe on the inside, they're so miserable. And then we're like, well, but it got good for them. So what's the problem? So, maybe this is not the question to be asking. I don't know. Like, is it never supposed to get good? For some people? I don't know. What if it's, what if it's good for everyone? What if it's exactly what it's meant to be for everyone? But if everyone's right, where they're meant to be, and sure, like, you could say that, now that I'd say that I'm like, Oh, shit, like, well, is it good for everyone? Is it good for the people who are, you know, like, lost their jobs and having trouble like feeding their kids or people who like, you know, the cards are just stacked against them? Like, yeah, I, I hate that for them. Like I, I'm such a compassionate person. And so empathetic and like, those situations, break my heart, and I don't want to believe that has to be that way for them. And I don't think it has to be like, I think it does get to get good for everyone. It's again, good is subjective. It's like what even is good. We don't like, we don't really know what that is for each individual. But whatever their good is for them. Whatever good is for everyone. I want that for them. And I believe they get to happen. And that's what I have to say about that. So anyways, yeah, I would love to hear from you guys. Like I'm literally just thinking out loud, sharing my honest thoughts. Like I do not have all the answers, but these are some of my like, Yeah, true stuff, like helped empower me in my life and, you know, help my clients understand their life as well. But again, I don't know all the answers. And it's like, what I what I'd be saying all the same things if I was like, homeless and had nothing to eat? I don't know. I don't know the answer. But all I can do is do my best and show up as my best and work on myself. And just be the best version of myself that I can be so that I can shine not Oh, and radiate that out to to others. So anyways, yeah, so I'm just thinking out loud with you guys. I would love to hear your guys's thoughts on these questions like, what's true for you? What do you think like what comes up for you? When I'm like thinking out loud, I would love for you to message me on Instagram @magneticallyyou and I keep this conversation going. Because these questions were like, so good. And they've just really got me thinking. Which brings me to another point that I don't think thinking our way through everything is the answer, right? Like if you're, if you have these questions, and you're like, I need to think my way through this and figure this out. It's like, what if, what if you're thinking and using your mind? So exclusively was the, you know, problem? Like, what if? Not that there's a problem? But like, what if you felt into your body? What if you turned off your thinking mind? And let your thoughts just be thoughts? And let didn't let them mean so much about you and your life and everyone else's life? Anyways. Next question. What are your best tips specifically for someone who really wants to manifest abundance and money and is currently struggling financially? So the first thing I would say is notice your current story in language. I really want to manifest abundance I really want like, want as in like, I don't have it, I want it. It's like it's this need, I need it. Right? And I'm struggling financially.

Struggling financially, how does that feel to to tell the story that you're struggling financially? Like, it doesn't feel good? And it's like, at what point does that story no longer hold true when you have when you have like $1,000 in your bank account? Are you no longer struggling financially, when it's 2000? When it's 3000? When it's four, when it's a million when it's 500? Like, at what point? Are you not struggling financially? And it's like, it's kind of a blurry line, right? And it's if that's the story you're telling now, that's probably the story you're going to take with you, even when you do have plenty of money. So what if you could tell a new story about money now and about how you want things to be? And maybe that story is what if, what if I have enough and I'm learning how to create more abundance? Like there are? This is something I think about often like there's some people who are million millionaires and billionaires who are miserable. And then there are some people who have nothing at all. No money, no belongings like literally nothing who are like The happiest people. So that to me is just evidence right there that it's not money. It's not money that is causing us to struggle or feel unhappy. It's our thoughts and feelings and relationship, to the money to our experience of life, and to our story of what we're telling about it, right? So you get to choose your story, choose the story that's going to support you, and how you want things to be. And I would also, like have you consider, why do you want money and abundance? What will? What will it do for you? And if you feel like it will just make you more happy, more safe, more at peace? Like, can you experience any of those feelings now, because a lot of times we think once they have more money, then I'll feel abundant, I won't feel like I'm struggling. But you take your brain with you. You don't leave the brand behind. So how can you focus on accepting what is making the best of what is and knowing that it does get to get better, you have the power to make it better, it's going to get better, it is going to get better. And at the same time again, the dance is the greatest dance of life, and how can you accept and love? What is even if it feels impossible, or unbearable, or like it's you're never going to get out of it? What if you can? What if it can change a lot faster than you think. So I feel like this is kind of like I feel like money and your relationship with money in a relationship with food have such strong similarities. It's kind of crazy. But when I used to do food freedom, coaching and helping women heal their relationship with food, it was like when my clients wanted so desperately to lose weight, because they thought it would bring them confidence and happiness. While the secret was that they could feel that it didn't matter what their weight was or what their body was, they could feel confidence and happiness. Now it wasn't their body that created their lack of confidence and happiness, it was their story they were telling about their body. And you can tell a new story, you can choose new thoughts, you can choose New feelings, you can reprogram what's going on in your brain in your thinking in your feeling to create a new experience, your reality, and then as you shift on the inside, things on the outside inevitably shift. Because you're a new person, you're telling a new story, and you're looking for new things, you're our brains always want to make us right. So if the underlying like programming is like, I'm struggling financially, I'm never gonna have enough then. You know, it's kind of like, that's why you perpetuate and create but if you're telling the story like I have enough, I am enough and and I'm in the process of creating more like, Where are you focusing your energy and attention, right, like the thoughts and feelings that your your thought your past thoughts, feelings, actions created the now. So the past has nothing to do with what you're going to create in the future because the past is already gone now is what has everything to do with creating your future when you get to the future. It'll still be now so it's always all now. So how can you make the best of now? How can you tell the story you want to be telling now? How can you accept what is now? How can you embody the most abundant abundant version of you now? And how can you look for all the ways that you're abundant now look for reasons to feel abundant, and you will find them and you will create more. So start an abundance tracker, this is something that I love to do. So make a little note in your phone or a little journal and every time something abundant happens that makes you feel abundant, write it down, it doesn't just have to be money it could be it could be like oh my friend bought me a coffee or I got this discount at the store or I got an unexpected bonus at work or I've made any money at work or it doesn't have to be money it can be my I saw the angel number two to two or I got invited on so and so's podcast or whatever it is that like makes you feel abundant like opportunities are coming magic is coming like noticing bring your awareness and attention to focus on how much abundance in magic there already is. And then you will create more of it because that's where your that's where your focus is. And speaking again of the now like in the now in that place like within you that is so present and not in the past or the future the past or the future does not exist. It only exists in our minds. So when you can get to that place within your the past in the future. doesn't exist and you're so present that nothing else matters. You can't help but feel joy and appreciation and gratitude, and its joy and appreciation and gratitude that opens you up to receive, to, to look for to experience to notice more abundance in life to create more abundance in your life. So that feeling is, it's like, I don't want to say it's everything, but to me if it feels like it's everything, because that feeling in my life has created so much for me, like, that's why I do my rituals, like hypnosis, and tapping and meditation, things like that, because it gets you to that feeling. And in that feeling, you can create an energetic shift like that I snap, because it's like, it's like, it can be that fast. And it's like, those internal energetic shifts are what create the external, like shifts in your reality. So I would, you know, think about what practices you like to use that can get you to that place where you're so present that nothing else, but right now matters. So, you know, for me, those are hypnosis, tapping, meditation, things like that, whatever dancing, it could be dancing, sometimes whatever it is for you, like, spend, spend some time in that place, get yourself into that place of presence more often. And I would like to give one example of one of my clients who was struggling with paying off debt and how, like really telling a new story changed everything for her. So she came to me, and she had kind of just been drowning in debt and not making any progress on paying off her debt for several years. And, you know, she came to me really wanting help like figuring it the half out. And so our first session, we, I was just trying to, you know, understand what was going on, and you know, where she was at. And, you know, she was really, really just stuck. And like, I don't know, I don't know what to do, I don't know, if it's gonna work, nothing's gonna work. So why bother? Like, just really, really, just stuck in that story of like, nothing, I do work. So why bother? Like, I don't know what to do. Like, I've no idea. I can't like trust myself to think of anything, I don't know what to do. So I can't do anything. And I was just really, really, really stuck. And, you know, we did some deep inner work around, changing her story and shifting her beliefs from nothing I do works to all of my thoughts and emotions are always adding up to everything that I want. And I know what I'm doing, I believe this can work. This is possible for me, I can do this, I am doing this. Rather than I'll never pay off my dad, it'll never work like from that place, of course, you're probably not going to like do anything about it, you're not going to, you're not going to show up, you're not going to notice the opportunities that are right in front of your face, because our brains never want to make us wrong. So if we believe it'll, we can never pay it off, then we're going to look for all the shit in the world that confirms that we can't pay it off. But if we believe we can, then we're going to finally start seeing those opportunities and possibilities are right in front of our face. And so this is exactly what happened for her. Like, once we got her to the place where she was really like shifting into like this can work. I believe this can work. My thoughts and actions are always adding up to everything that I want. Like, this is happening. I'm in the process of paying off my debt. Literally like right when she had that shift, the she applied for this side hustle job that she had been wanting to get for a while, got an interview the next day and started the job the day after that. Also in the same week, she got two unexpected bonuses from work. She got one bonus for like COVID and then another bonus like she had never gone bonuses work. It was like not a thing and then she just out of the fucking blue but not just one bonus, but two unexpected bonuses from her job. And then she had a friend like message on Instagram. She was a baker's friend asked her like, Hey, can you bake for these cookies for my friend's birthday, I'll pay you another opportunity for money, right? So it's like all these opportunities literally started flooding to her. And it's not that they weren't there before. It's just that she finally was open to them. She finally was able to receive them, she finally was able to see them. Because she shifted the story that she was telling. So I hope that gives you a really powerful example of what can happen when you shift on the inside. Because so often we think we needed to change everything on the outside and sure, action is great. But if it's coming from a place of like, force and push and hustle, it's like it really doesn't get us anywhere. It's like we need to first align what's going on on the inside so that our actions on the outside are aligned with what we want on that Inside, right. Okay, so next question anyways, again, would love to hear what you guys think on that one send me a DM, let me know. Also just random thoughts like this is this is an interesting one and again you guys, I'm just like thinking out loud with you like just sharing my straight up what's going on in my brain? You know how a lot of people say like, money is energy. I'm like, no one's ever I feel like no one's ever like explained that to me in a way we're actually like clicked and made sense. Like I can like, you know, understand the theory behind it right? Like, I believe everything in our world is energy because like physics says like it is right? Like we're all atoms vibrating at certain frequencies like God that like everything is energy. So technically money is energy, but it just like, doesn't add up to me, right? Like, I feel like money is a value exchange rate, like it was a system created in our physical reality for the exchange of value. And yes, of course, we could then boil value down to being energy and everything is energy, but like, I've never heard anyone like dissect what that really means when they say everyone just said, Oh, everyone saying it. So I'm saying it too. It's like, but what's up? didn't actually means if anyone knows, let me know. It's something I've been pondering because I haven't like, I just hear people say it, but it doesn't sound like anyone's really. I don't know, backing it up with like, like, I don't know, clean thinking is the right word. But like just clean reasoning, clean thinking rather than just adopting those words from someone else? And you know, what is? I'm also curious, like, what is the value in believing money is energy? Very, like, I like to choose my beliefs based on what's empowering. What's not empowering to me that money is energy. I'm like, okay, that's like, kind of like, whatever. Sure, what is, but what does that do for me? What does that do for us? What does that do for society? I don't know. So and maybe it does. Maybe it is empowering. Maybe there is those deeper meanings? Maybe it is helpful for us and everyone to believe that I just, I don't know that. So if someone has two answers, let me know. But these are the kind of thoughts that go on in my brain. You guys just always like questioning everything. And I think that's so much of why I have been able to create a life that feels so aligned for me a business I feel so aligned for me and really impact and help so many people and like deeply help so many of my clients is because I'm not just adopting everyone else's thoughts and beliefs, because everyone else has them. It's like not like questioning things and thinking what is true for me what's right for me, and I would encourage you to do the same question question things like, Is this true? Is it true for me? What if? What if I want to believe what's the most empowering thing for me to believe? Okay, so next question. How do I get clear on what I want? I had a natal chart reading not long ago, it showed my planets representing a duality of sometimes wanting to be small, other times wanting to be big. I'm in a phase where I no longer want to be small. I want to step up and change in profound ways, and be more bold and big. How can I get clear on what that can look like for my life? Okay, first thing I would say is, notice how you're letting your astrology reading determine your life. It's like, Oh, well, because my astrology readings said this, I couldn't possibly be big. And no wonder I've been small because my astrology reading said I was going to be now. astrology is a tool for empowerment. And it sounds like you're using it to disempower yourself. So how can you use it to empower yourself? What if you're exactly where you're meant to be? What if you aren't being small? What if you are being big? And what if you only get to play bigger, right? And you say you want to step up and change in profound ways and be more bold and big? Well, your astrology charts not stopping you. So what is what's stopping you? what's preventing you? That's, that's what I would say about that piece. As far as how to get clear on what that can look like. Well, I don't know. Are you a fortune teller? I don't mean that. Like, I'm being really sassy right now. Um, but like, we don't, we don't know what it's gonna look like, we don't have to have perfect crystal clarity on like, Okay, well, I want to be the big bold version of me. How do I get clear on what that can look like? It's okay, if you're not clear, right? Like, if you weren't clear, you would only be that person and there would be nowhere to be, right.

So you can think about who is a version of me the big bold version of me who shows up and steps up and changes in profound ways, like Who is she? How does she show up? How does she act? What does she think? What does she believe in just like yourself, like yourself, you feel into that? Feel into what feels right for you? And think about like, how can I step into that version of me now like, you don't have to wait to be that version of you until something in your astrology chart shifts or something in your life shifts or something else like you can decide right now you are that version of you. What if you already are that version of you? So and also I would ask to why, why do you need to know what you want? Why do you need to have perfect clarity? I say perfect. You didn't say perfect. I'm finding some words into the mouth of the question. But like, why do you need to get clear on what you want? And how is not feeling clear benefiting you? So I've had some times where believing I wasn't clear, was like sneaky self sabotage. Because if you believe Oh, I'm not clear, I'm not clear, then you have to chase clarity and chase clarity and chase clarity. And when you're chasing clarity, you will get to avoid showing up in big, bold, profound ways. Isn't that funny? So I would ask you like how is not feeling clear benefiting you? Like what's like this secondary, like sneaky benefit of you? Feeling unclear and staying unclear? And I would also ask, what if you didn't need to get more clear? What if you're already clear enough and more clarity is on its way? Like, how do you show up just differently when you believe you're already clear enough? And more clarity is on its way? How do you show up differently when you believe you're already big and bold enough. And you can only get bigger and bolder, whatever it is you want to be? Right? So when we believe that we aren't clear, and we focus on the lack of clarity, we just create more lack of clarity because we're like, I have a lack of clarity. I have a lack of clarity, every Look, there's lack of clarity. And it's like we're looking everywhere for lack of clarity. Well, what are we going to find more lack of clarity? So if you were meant to be more clear in this moment, right now, you would be so know that it's okay. You're clear enough, if you were meant to be more clear you would be and I used to tell myself and my business and so many of my clients have struggled with the same thing. And thinking like my niches and clear enough, my messaging isn't clear enough. And this is for some of the coaches I work with. I work with a lot of new coaches who want to start businesses and they feel like they need to know exactly who they're helping and what their niches. It's bullshit. It's a lie that everyone out there is telling you so that you buy their shit and they teach you how to find a niche. That's just my opinion on it. And you know, there are plenty of super, super, super, super successful people who don't really have a niche, like Tony Robbins, what is his niche personal development that's not niched down, but he's fucking wildly successful. Like, you know, people, it's just and then then there's people who have the most specific niche in the world, and they have no like, quote, success at all. So the niche is not the problem. So let that one go. Anyways, I used to tell myself, like my niches and clear enough, my messaging isn't clear enough, I'm not clear enough on what I want in my business. And that belief that I never had enough clarity led me to constantly choosing more, and constantly chasing more clarity led me to constantly chasing more clarity, literally like a dog chasing its tail, like he ain't never gonna catch it, because it's always somewhere here dot m, which means you could never be there now. So I had this shift, like a few months ago, where I was like, wait, what if I'm already clear enough? And when I really stepped into that, like something massive shifted, and I really started believing like, okay, like, I do have enough clarity. I'm already clear enough. And yeah, again, like I said, it's like looking back, it's like it was a sneaky form of self sabotage. Because if I wasn't clear enough, then I got to avoid doing the uncomfortable things to grow and to create the life that I wanted to step out of my comfort zone to be a person that I wanted to be. And I see so many of my clients on this like never ending chase for more clarity, and it's what keeps so many of us stock. So this is something that I really helped my clients work through is yes, you can find more clarity, right? But what if you're already clear enough, there's it's such a different way of showing up and thinking and feeling when you believe you're already clear enough, and you only get to create more clarity, right? So you can still work towards your dreams, even if you don't feel totally clear, you can feel confident in what you're doing. Now, even if you don't feel totally clear. And you can take action right now, even if you don't feel totally clear. You can do it. So what if you didn't need a full picture of clarity, but just to keep going to keep taking one step forward. And that step forward might be an action or it might be choosing a new thought, a new belief, doing a meditation, like whatever comes up for you. Like, what's one step forward, you can take what if you didn't have to have it all figured out? What if you don't have to be clear, but if you didn't even need all the clarity that you think you need? What do you Why do you need it? What if you didn't need it? You know? So these are the Questions that run through my brain? When I think about that, okay, to mark, these are the two relationship questions. And yeah, I would say definitely go listen to the episode with Emerald. It's em YRA lT coming up in a few weeks after this episode. So just stay tuned for that, because we go a lot deeper into this, but I'm going to go briefly into these questions. Okay, so the first question is that, okay, so I'm seeing a manifesting partway, and I'm seeing one attribute I'm looking for, but then a million red flags. So I keep hearing everywhere to be specific about what I want in a guy, I'm hearing it from people talking to me in person to other manifesting podcasts. And I, you know, ask for specific things like looks a truck career personality, attachment style, and I keep running into guy after guy after guy. And they have a few of the things that I want to manifest with their personality is red flag after red flag, and it's like, I'm, it's like, I'm not manifesting, right. It's like, I'm missing something. And I've been trying to listen to everyone and get my mind and soul open to the universe. So the things that first jump out at me is, it's like, I'm not manifesting, right? That, how does that feel when you say, I'm not manifesting, right? What if there is no right or wrong way? What if the way you decide that you want to work for you gets to work for you. And that's all that you need to do is decide this is my way, and this way is going to work for me? What if there was no right way? I would let go of that idea that you're missing something that you're not doing something right, you're not missing anything. I think we live in a society where we're trained to everyone else outside of us has all the answers and that we can't possibly figure it out. And that we always must be doing something wrong. And we always must be missing something. And there's always a secret that we must go find. It's like no, what if you already have all the answers within you? And so I also heard you saying, you've been listening to everyone, and are you listening to yourself? That's what I would ask you. What is your higher self say about this? What does your intuition tell you about this? And also to like, this is meeting these partners who maybe have the one attribute and then the other red flags, like, it's a good thing it's preparing you for even better, it's making you the perfect container for what you want. It's like, what if all of these guys saw are not the one for you? Are the exact circumstances and situations and experiences you need? In order to get to that next level relationship? Like what if it's building you up in ways that you can't even see to make you like the perfect? The perfect? Like, I don't have containers, the right word? Because it's kind of awkward in the context of relationships, but like, what if it's making you the perfect container for that next level? relationship, right? Like it's causing you to, to grow to expand to it's showing you what you don't want so that you're more clear on what you do. Right? So I would just say, like, maybe loosen the grip a little bit if you feel like you have a tight grip on this, like, I'm not getting right. How do I get this? If it feels like you have that tight grip, like, loosen up? What if? What if it could work itself out? But if it already was working itself out? What if the person you're looking for was already on their way to you? And what if you're not doing it wrong? What if you're doing exactly right? What if you're exactly where you're meant to be? What if it's all adding up perfectly? to lead you to the relationship you're meant to be in? And when you get in that relationship? You're gonna be like, oh, it all makes sense now. But if that's happening, okay. So last question is, how do I manifest a romantic partner? I think I'm stuck. So kind of a similar thing. What I would say about, I'm stuck again, like it's that story, you're telling yourself the story that you're stuck. Stuck is an illusion. What if you aren't stuck? stuck is just a state of mind, you can change your state of mind, you can change your state of energy to think and feel as if you are not stuck. Stuck is what even is stuck. It's just a meaning that we're giving to our experience. So what if you aren't stuck? What if there's actually nothing you need to, like, sort out or figure out or get unstuck? Like, what if, you know, like we can, we can spend literally in circles, trying to make our brains feel like they're going to explode, trying to like think our way through it and get unstuck and how do I manifest this? And how do I figure it out? And like, think your way through it? And like, what's my plan and how am I going to do this, and then you probably end up feeling more confused and more stock right? Or you can let go of the need to have it all figured out. The like go they need to know exactly how it's going to happen. Like you don't need more ideas or more clarity. You just need to go out and live your life. I would ask if you weren't stuck? What would you do? And I think it's really powerful to remember like, you know, you're asking like, how do I manifest a romantic partner? Like, I could have never predicted how I manifested. Trevor, I could have never done that. So it's like, it's almost like Why? What if we didn't need to know how it was going to happen? What if all we needed to do was no, it will happen, it is happening. It's happening. It's happening. It's happening. I'm on the other side, I'm in relationship. I love my partner, I'm on the other side, I have that person. And I'm enough on my own. I'm enough as I am. Now, I give myself what I need. I don't need someone else to do that for me. And I would also say, like, be the partner you want to attract. And this can help you call in that partner. And if you're already in a relationship can help you grow the relationship to what it is that you want it to be. So, you know, if you're looking for someone, who is this and I will do this for you and will give that to you. How can you give that to yourself? How can you be that for yourself? How can you embody those characteristics of that person you're looking for? within yourself, so focus more on you, and less on finding them, and they will come?

When the time is right. I know. It's so cliche, but it's so it's so true. It really is. So anyways, okay, that was really fun. Like, my honestly, my brain is like a little bit like, Whoa, like what just happened? It's like, yeah, just really gets you thinking and new creative ways. So thank you guys so much for these questions. It really expanded my my brain and my thinking and my feeling in so many ways. And I trust I was gonna say hope, but I am working on letting go of the word hope because it implies like, so much like, I don't know, like doubt and disbelief. So I trust that you guys got what you needed from this episode, and I expanded you and the ways that it did for me or maybe even more ways, and I would love to hear from you like what are your thoughts was going through your brain, I just told you guys all the shifts going on in my brain, I would love to hear what's going on in your brain. So send me a message on Instagram, @magneticallyyou I would love Love, love to hear from you. And Happy New Year. I just decided literally right in this moment that I'm gonna release this episode on the 29th it's now the 16th December 16 for me, but I'm gonna release this episode on the 29th so happy new year, it's a couple days away. I am sending you love and light and the ability to look back on 2020 with with love with appreciation with gratitude with and and take all the learnings and lessons and growth you've had from 2020 and take it with you to 2021 to make 2021 your best here ever. And it gets to be it gets to be your best year ever so decide now to sign now that it's going to be your best year ever. And it is I will see you in the New Year 2021 goodbye 2020 I think we're all ready to say goodbye to 2020 so a saya Nara see you never Goodbye Thank you and spin real let's go I'm so grateful for you listening today if this resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you'd hit subscribe and leave a review on iTunes and everybody is invited to the after party which takes place every day on Instagram @magneticallyyou so come hang out with us there. And if you're really fired up about mindset, spiritual and personal development, head to magneticallyyou.com to check out all the fun stuff I have going on there like my coaching, and my courses, free workshops, all the good stuff and I will see you on the next episode.

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