This episode is JUICY! We dive into all things manifestation and relationships. Dora Vandekamp is an intuitive love coach who helps highly motivated women attract their dream relationship and fall in love with their love lives. This episode is all about becoming irresistible and magnetic to the love you desire by being more YOU, having more FUN and following what lights you up.
✧ Using radical self-love as the portal to manifest the love you desire
✧ How to receive guidance and support from the 15 archangels
✧ The KEY to manifesting your dream relationship is believing you get to have it
✧ How to let go of control and allow your partner to lead
✧ Releasing the “I do everything” story and allowing yourself to receive and be supported
✧ The energy shifts that make you irresistible
✧ How Dora keeps her relationship fun and exciting
Dora Vandekamp is an Intuitive Love Coach and she wants to show how to HAVE IT ALL. As a multi-certified Coach, she trained in Law of Attraction Coaching, Mindfulness-Based Eco-therapy, Relationship Coaching, Integrative Coaching, EFT, and Nutritional Therapy. Dora is also a Reiki and Akashic Records certified.
Follow me on Instagram @magneticallyyou
I am sooo grateful for you listening today. If this resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you’d leave a review on itunes. Everyone’s invited to the afterparty which takes place every day on instagram @magneticallyyou so come hang out with us there.
If you’re really fired up about mindset, spiritual and personal development, click here to check out my coaching programs and courses.
Welcome to the magnetically used podcast. My name is Madison Surdyke. I'm a master mindset coach and food freedom expert. You're in the right place. If you want to manifest a life It means you jump out of bed excited if every morning, reprogram your mind for success and happiness, feeling your best and become magnetic to everything that you desire. For me healing my relationship with food was my gateway into mindset, spiritual and personal development. And now I am obsessed and I realized the same thing became true for so many of the women. I've coached through my course the subtle art of food freedom and doing the inner work around food became about so much more than food for all of us. So that's what this podcast is really about that expansion, expanding that inner work to all areas of our life so that we can become the most magnetic confident versions of ourselves and achieve our biggest dreams. If you're like me, and you're obsessed with personal development, then you are going to love this podcast so let's freakin' do this.
Hello, and welcome back to the magnetically you podcast. I have an amazing coach here to share with you today. Her name is Dora Vander kam Van de Kamp like Vander cam I'm like going into Gossip Girl mode. Vander Woodson is that sucker guys groaning I knew Dora is an intuitive Love, love coach who helps motivated women attract their dream relationship and fall in love with their love lives. Her philosophy incorporates proven manifestation techniques, dynamic intuitive coaching and deep subconscious transformation to help her clients manifest the love and life they truly desire. So welcome, Dora. I'm so excited to have you here. I'm so excited to introduce you to everyone.
So for those of you listening, I met Dora through our coach, we have the same coach and we're in that group program together. And we met through that and I think instantly, like I was just drawn to Dora's energy, she just has this like very, very, very magnetic warm energy that just makes you want to be like, Oh, what is she doing? like What does she have to say So I wanted to connect with her. And we've just been our energy has clicked and brought us here today. So I'm really excited to have her. And while welcome, Dora thank you. I'm so excited to be here. I feel the same way about you. I feel like you are truly magnetic and truly magical. So I'm really excited to be here. When you asked me to be on the podcast. I was very honored. Very excited. So thank you for inviting me.
Yeah, of course. I'm so excited. Okay, so I will let you take the floor. And tell us a little bit more about your journey. And what kind of led you to doing this intuitive love coaching and you can share as much or as little as as you'd like. Absolutely. Well, I became a coach, actually, in 2013, which is kind of long ago, it kind of amazes me how fast time flies. And I became a health coach. And I am still very into health. I love being healthy. And it's something that I really live and breathe. But I found that health coaching on its own wasn't for me the path that kept inspiring me it kind of felt like I wanted more I was looking for more. So I really went on kind of a path of exploration. I worked in a lot of different areas. I did mindfulness coaching, I worked in a Addiction Treatment Center, a teaching yoga, I did all kinds of exploring.
And I was eventually led to Jen, our coach. And I remember sitting with her and talking to her about you know, I really feel like I want to focus on manifestation coaching because that is something that along with health is what I live in breathe. I've been following the law of attraction for a really long time. I truly believe it saved my life. I was pretty much on the verge of suicide at a point in my life. And I found the law of attraction and it really changed everything for me. And I started manifesting all kinds of things and experiences and people into my life. So I started building on that and cultivating that and really living it embodying it. And when I found Jenna I was really focused on this specific kind of coaching and I remember sitting with her and telling You know, this is what I'm going to do.
And she said, Well tell me a little bit about your history. And I said, Well, you know, I've been in a really crazy string of toxic abusive relationships. But you don't want to hear about that. It's sort of a long story. She said, Actually, no no, let's rewind, go back to that. And so I did. And I told her my story, which is a pretty crazy story, someday I'll write a book about it, because it's, it's insane. And she said, that's it. That's your work. You've been to this school of life, you have learned and breathed and embodied everything, and you've manifested your soulmate. And you know how to do that. And it's your job. It's your responsibility now to teach others this too. And it was a huge epiphany for me, because I never had I ever thought I would be an expert on relationships. Me, you know, so I took that, and I'm very spiritual. So I really dove deep and and I looked at all of the things that I know. And I know a lot I know so much, and I know so much about manifesting and so much about love.
And I've learned that the hard way, but I've learned it. And so I started doing that work. And it blew my mind. Because the clients that I'm working with, the clients that I've worked with have attracted their soulmates, they've found love, they're in these amazing relationships. And I really feel so blessed that I get to do this work that is now creating movement, I believe, towards more conscious love and more powerful communication between couples and and I really think that this is how we create conscious families and a more powerful and empowered world. So that's kind of my journey to being the coach I am today. I love it. So what does it feel like to be a relationship coach?
Because when I think about it, I'm like, ooh, like, that sounds kind of scary. Like, is there? Do you feel pressure to have have it all, like figured out in your relationship? Like, how do you navigate, knowing like, you're the expert, you are the coach, you help women do all these things. And also, like, balance, obviously, being an embodying that person in your life, which I know you do. It's an amazing journey. It's an amazing journey. And I always thank my partner, because you know, he kind of is on board, and maybe his soul chose it, but his human 3d person, you know, it's kind of like, here I am. This, this partner of somebody who is a relationship coach, and and so it can be challenging in a way because I believe that as a coach, we are always really conscious and aware of our journey, we're always being really introspective.
And reflecting on how we can really embody what we're teaching, right? I think that that's being an integrity, with what we do and our work. And for me, integrity is a really big part of my practice. And I think it's just a constant learning process. And it's a constant process of being really transparent. So for me and my partner, we are really radically honest with each other. And that is the basis of our relationship is being really honest with each other. And so that looks like sometimes talking about things that are not fun to talk about, and really taking people pleasing out of the equation, and really just being completely vulnerable with each other. And so I think sometimes it's ugly, right? Sometimes it's wonderful. Sometimes it's not so wonderful. And I think that that's the beauty of it is I'm not teaching women that a soulmate relationship is perfect, and it's not ever going to be Rocky, it's not ever going to be challenging, right? I think in a way. soulmate relationships can be more challenging, because it's a choice, right? So you're always going to choose the path with that person, even when things are hard, even when you have challenging things come up.
But ultimately, it's being able to navigate that from a place of love and self love. And that's really the key. And so I think the beautiful thing is just being as present as possible. And knowing that it doesn't have to be perfect or look perfect, to be an empowering relationship. Who is so good. I love that. And you know what stood out to me is the honesty the people pleasing, removing the people pleasing and then navigating from that place of self love for, I don't know, I guess give for someone who is like, okay, I want to start, I want to be more honest, I want to be more vulnerable, I want to stop the people pleasing. I want to come from this place of self love, like where would you recommend they they start whether they're in a relationship or not? Or maybe it's the same thing you tell me?
Oh, absolutely. Well, I think there's some really important things to ask ourselves. And that is really know what lights us up, what do we truly want. Because I think we often go into a relationship looking outside of ourselves for that feeling of happiness and inner peace, right and, and security. And so the work is really being able to find that within ourselves. Because if we are constantly looking for that in our partner and expecting that from our partner, then we are setting ourselves up for a lot of obstacles. So I think the first thing is really asking ourselves what is important to us, right? And not even in a relationship, but just in our lives. So do we want stability? Do we want trust, do we want relationships that are in integrity, and then setting boundaries with ourselves that match that because as we continue to grow in ourselves and cultivate this, these emotions and this energy in ourselves and these boundaries within ourselves, we start being very clear about what it looks like in other people.
So the more work we do on our on our own, the more people match that the more people see that and feel that and then match that. So it's really the law of attraction working right, it's not like we have to do it all on our own. And that's why I'm an intuitive love coach, because I believe that we're supported by spirit, I don't think we have to do it all on our own. And I think we have our guides and our angels and our ancestors and you know, kind of the Spirit community to guide us and help us. But I think that it really does start with us to know that if we're looking for a partner, it's really important for us to get clear about what fills us and fulfills us. And then when we can cultivate that within ourselves, we become a magnet for that experience.
I love this so much. Because as you're saying this, I'm like yes, yes, yes, this is exactly the same thing as manifesting clients like exactly the same thing, the same energy, the same mindset. And it's like, I feel like it's like the shift from what I call Limbo energy which is like waiting for the partner to give you the feelings you want waiting for your the number in your bank account to tell you give you permission to do whatever you need to do waiting on the next client you signed before you allow yourself to feel successful or excited. And it's like shifting from that Limbo energy and to leading leading your excitement leading your fulfillment, leading your life, returning the power to yourself that I am the creator, I create my fulfillment I create my excitement I had like, such an amazing experience with this last week, and I went live on Instagram about it yesterday.
But you know, long story short, I was just kind of like feeling in that Limbo energy, like waiting for the next like, Hi from something outside of me from the next team or the next client my business like where is it? When is it coming? And then I was like, No, I don't do this Limbo energy, I lead my energy and decided, you know, I asked myself like what would be so what would make me excited today? What would be so fulfilling for me today and so fun for me today? What would light me up and fill me up? So I went hiking, I got a smoothie, I went to a coffee shop I a journal on what I call, like a possibility brainstorm. And then it was like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, within 24 hours, I had like, manifested all this magic and my business life. And it was just like, of course, of course.
Because when you get out of that Limbo, and into the leading and being the creator energy, it really does make you like you said, a match for the things you want to come to you and for the things that match that energy to come to you. It's like the energy of magnetism. And it's really cool to hear you say it and recognize it being really the same kind of energy, whether you're manifesting the partner or the clients or, you know, whatever it is, it's really cool. It's so true. And it's if you can find that and cultivate that within yourself, then everything else is a fucking bonus. Like everything else makes it even better. So if you're already amazing, this is like a constant like orgasm all the time, every day, right?
Because you're He says, oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god right coming from that place and then your partner like co creating with you because you're both fucking magical. It's amazing. It's it's Yeah, it's totally that magnetism. It's really what it is. I love it so much. Okay, I want to get into talking about angels and guides and I know you're really into that and into the ark angels. Did I say it correctly? Or is it arch Ark? Ark angels? Yeah, so the first time I read about Ark angels, I for some reason I stumbled on that word. I mean, if I was right, like it's the word.
My brain is like seeing arch Ark angels. Anyways, I was reading Gabby Bernstein spoke on the way to this business conference. And it was the her book super attractor, and she talks about Archangel Michael and how you can call on Michael. And he's this protective Angel. And the energy is very, like protective, providing that protection safety. And so she says, you can ask the archangels like, show me you're here, show me a sign that you're with me. And I went to the business conference, and I'm very introverted. This was my first business conference or 600. People like hype, and I'm like, Oh my god, this is like so much energy. I'm like, absorbing 600 people's energy. I'm like, this is like, giving me like anxiety. I'm like, Okay, this is a lot. And so I had, I thought to myself, like, Archangel Michael, like, show me You're here.
I'm like, let's just play with this thing. Gabby says, These archangels that I don't know anything about. Let's just play with them. And I text my life coach at the time. And I told her I'm like, Can you give me any tips? Like, I'm really feeling like, overwhelmed. I'm like, about to like die saying this because it's so insane. She replies, and said, Ask Archangel Michael, to come and be with you. I was like, we've never talked about archangels, Michael, anything like that. And she said, Ask Archangel Michael to be with you. And I'm like, oh my gosh. So that's like my main experience with archangels. But I don't know much about them. So I would love to hear your like perspective on them, and how we can kind of use these angels and guides universe to help us manifest the love and relationships that we want our life.
Yes. So I like to think of the archangels as kind of the head helpers of God. And they are really, really magical. And they show up in our lives in different ways. And it's very personal. It's a very personal experience. So for me, I grew up a minister's daughter. And so I grew up like very religious household. And so for me, I had kind of a very interesting experience with God and my faith. And I kind of went, you know, one way and then I went all the way to the other side, which a lot of people do if they grew up in a religious household. And so I was introduced to the archangels, kind of on my way back to being spiritual and believing in God again. And Archangel Michael was actually the first Archangel I learned about as well. And I was going to a woman who channeled Archangel Michael. And so I started working with him in stepping into my power. And that was kind of where I began. And it blew my mind because at that point, I was still really, really deeply depressed.
And there would be times when I would just be sitting in my car super lost and afraid. And I would just ask for a hug. And I could feel like being hugged like, it was so real was so real. And so I bought like a Oracle deck. And I started learning about the other archangels. And I have a really close relationship with Archangel Raphael, who is actually the Archangel of healing the body and just healing kind of in general. And it's interesting too, because some of the archangels are actually in the Bible. So Archangel Michael and archangel gabriel are both mentioned, and Archangel Gabriel is the messenger Angel. So each one of these amazing angels have a responsibility so they have kind of an area of expertise. But that doesn't mean that they can't help you. You know, if you call on Archangel Gabriel, whatever it is, you're supported, and you're guided.
And the beautiful thing is that we all kind of have these deep connections with them, the more that you talk to them, the more You connect with them, the more you feel that energy. So it depends on who you communicate with, maybe you call in your spirit guide, or maybe you have an ancestor that you, you know, communicate with a lot, maybe your grandparent that's transitioned. But there's a feeling in the body. And I think as coaches, right, we work with a body a lot, because we're trying to kind of get out of the mind, as well as inner voice coaching, which our coach works with, right? So it's really getting in the body. And so there's a calling card, this is what we call it, it's a calling card. So for me, archangel raphael feels like a like a BFF. Like the way that I feel when I'm communicating with him. It feels like I'm talking to my best friend, Archangel Michael. It's something I feel in my heart chakra. So it's really this powerful presence, it's very masculine energy. So I think it really depends.
It's a very personal experience. And I think the way that you get more familiar, is just talking to them. And there's 15 archangels, in total, and they all have different kind of expertise areas. But it really depends on who calls to you and what what for you is something you're working on. So Archangel Michael helps you to step into your power, if you want to protect your energy. That's something I think is really important, especially for us as we you know, coaching and stuff, but it really yeah, whoever calls to you, they're all amazing, and just very, their energy is very magical. So it's pretty cool. Who is so cool. I love it. Do you happen to have the Oracle deck? Is it a deck of the angels? Yes, I have it right.
Can we pull a card? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. So actually, so this deck is the first deck I ever received. Now I do channeled readings, and I work with different decks. But this is always like my Oji deck. And it has I don't, I don't think it has all 15 of them. I don't know it might just have 12 or 10 of them. But yeah, let's pull a card up when just jumped out. Oh, this one is very cool. So this is Archangel Michael. Wow. Out of all the archangels looks like he's hanging out with us. So this card it says crystal clear intentions. Be clear about what you desire and focus upon it with unwavering faith. Hmm,
I love it. Yeah, he's definitely here with us. That's pretty cool. Well, and is Yeah, I feel like it's just funny like talking telling that story and talking about it, like, cycle calls him and I feel totally, you know, I think it's magical too. Because I, I do a meditation in the morning and I talked to them. They're kind of like my Fridays. And I think that that's the energy that a lot of people have with them because they love to play, they love to play, they're just playful. And so if you can just get into that feeling of playfulness, and fun and just vibing with them. I think that that's so easy. It's such an easy place to receive them. It just feels good and magical. And I call them them in the morning.
And I just asked them to be with me throughout the day. And the thing that's cool about them is that they don't interfere unless you want them to. So we all have free will. Right? So they can't control us. They can't do anything unless we ask them for help and guidance, because we are here to explore and expand, right. And so if we want their help, we can ask for it. But they're not going to help us unless we want them to basically. Yeah. Oh, I love this. Okay, this is fun. Okay, so I want to dive more into calling in your dream relationship. Because I know that's something a lot of people struggle with. It's like, I think most of us have areas in our lives where we feel naturally magnetic and powerful at manifesting the things we want. And then other areas of our lives where it just is like, I just can't seem to get it right, you know, kind of thing.
And I think for a lot of people relationships can actually be either of those. So for some people, it's like that this this is just the thing that comes naturally and for others, it's like, What do I do? Right? And I know that you have You talk a lot about like, the difference and a lot of your clients who do call in their relationships they want is that they're like comments and nominators that they believe that person exists, they believe they get to have it. So can we talk about why the belief is so important and how to cultivate that so you can start calling that person in. Absolutely. So, it's really funny that you say that too, because I think that that's very true. And some people have like a lot of resistance with money, but relationships kind of comes easier for them. And then the other way around, right, we have some, sometimes we're really, really like, career feels really easy, or health feels really easy, but relationships feels really challenging.
And so much of that has to do with our experiences, what we witness as children, what we see as an example of love as children. So, you know, some of us were raised as Disney Princesses, and that's kind of what we have an example of, and there's just so much that comes with our beliefs about love and relationships. And I think it gets even more complicated as women because there's centuries and centuries of, I guess, suppression of emotions, and our physical freedom, and, and all of these things. So there's a lot of baggage, basically, that comes along with being in a relationship. However, when we're talking about the law of attraction, I think there's something really powerful in allowing that to not be your story, and to not be the identity that you cling on to and hang on to. And so there's this inner work that we do, right, and this is something we work on with my clients is really allowing ourselves to identify, what are the beliefs that are holding us back?
And then how do we move forward, because the thing with our identity is very, very powerful. So if we have this constant need to mother in our relationships, right, which a lot of us tend to do, Where is that coming from? And it's, and it's something we learn, right? It's something we believe about ourselves, and I think, even as career woman, and probably a lot of your listeners can relate to this is that we are very much in an energy of competition. So sometimes we even bring that into our relationships, where we're competing with our partner, and we want to be the smart one, we want to be the one who's successful. And we end up bringing that energy into our partnership where we're competing.
So we end up kind of controlling the relationship and controlling all of the elements around our partnership. And then sometimes even controlling our partner and we, I think, tend to do that not from a place of ill intentions. But it's more from a place of insecurity, and not really knowing how to go about being in a partnership, where that person can also lead because we are so used to leading in our career and in our lives. And also it feels more secure that way it feels safe, right to be the leader. And so being able to allow our partner to also lead or maybe lead more just in the relationship is really hard for a lot of us. And so we have to kind of look at why are those beliefs there. Because usually it has more to do with something that is related to either insecurity or maybe unworthiness.
Maybe it's something where we feel like we have to prove that we're lovable, we have to prove that we're worthy, right. And so we do all of these things that are really the opposite of inspired action, right? They're kind of action for the sake of feeling like everything is under control. And so really what we do is just look at the beliefs that are there, the subconscious beliefs, the the wiring that's going on, that's creating the story that we're telling. And then we work on creating a new story, the story that allows you to not be a constant, like ball of anxiety and your relationship every day, right? Because that's for a lot of people their reality. So it's really just looking at the beliefs and then telling a new story working on taking those beliefs and reframing them. And yeah, having way more fun and finding way more joy than just being in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship.
I love that so much. And yeah, this story and my relationship that I've really been working on the last few months is like letting go of the like, I do everything story. I do all the dishes and I do all the chores and I have a business and I'm also the house cleaner. And I'm also the chef and I have to be everything and you don't do shit. Like that was totally my story and You know, it's when you have that story, that's what you see, like our brains, you see, and pick up on what's already in our belief system. So I've been really focusing on the last few months is intentionally like, looking at all the ways like everything Trevor does is for the team is supportive of me is for us is for me. And you know, even the littlest things like, oh, like, he drives, he always drives the car.
And I'm like, That is awesome, because I really don't like driving. He you know, and there's all these things that I was writing off of, like, oh, he doesn't do anything. And, you know, I've just been intentionally bringing awareness and appreciation to it of like, an even just his energy, like, he's so like, I'm so like, roller coaster, and he's so like, steady, and that's for the team, that's for us. That's for me. And I get to receive that and honor that and appreciate that I'm feel grateful for that. And, you know, use that as evidence to build my news story that he is always looking out for me and the team and us, and he does do so much for me. And it doesn't have to look like the exact same way that I would do things for him or the team. And like, it's just, it's so interesting. And you know, with the whole dishes, like, I know, so many of us struggle with that. And it's like, I value clean dishes and a clean kitchen.
He doesn't really care that much. So, like, Why do I have to impose my value on him? Like, if you tried to impose his values on me, I would be like, no, like, this isn't gonna work. So that's my story I've been rewriting. So I would love to hear like your thoughts on that, just because I think it was a good, it's a good example to share of like how we can begin rewriting a new story and, and shifting the way we perceive and feel about things. And then then it creates more love more fun, more connection. Like I've really been noticing us having like so much more like, presence and quality, time and connection with each other, as I've intentionally looked for how can I appreciate you?
Yes, I love that you told that I think that's so profound. And it's beautiful, that you have that awareness and also that you are choosing to change the story, because you're absolutely right. And the thing that's so powerful about that, as well as from a manifestation point of view, when we allow our partners to be freely themselves, we give them room to create and support us in their own way, right, instead of looking for ways to control the way that they contribute. We allow them to be magical in their own energy. And that is so incredibly powerful. And it's the same I think from from every other manifestation standpoint is, when we're coming from a place of lack, we're always going to be receiving that energy back. But when we come from a place of abundance, and we look at all the things that I think there's something really powerful and recognizing, why am I choosing this person, right?
Because it's so easy for us to start a laundry list of all the things that our partner sucks at, right? Yes, but then why are you with your partner? Let's talk about that. Right? There's a long ass list of why you're together. But I think we get so focused on the lab, that we forget why we've chosen this person in the first place. It's not just so we're not alone, we chose this one person out of the billions of people in the whole entire world, we could have chosen anyone, we chose this person why we need to remind ourselves of this every single day how magical this one being is that that we have been brought together with to create this magical powerful story so we can build our empire and be at this power couple right? Like we have faith in this relationship. We have faith in this person and so if we can come from that place, oh my god, think of like, the things we can do together right?
So it's really choosing where are you going to put your energy Where are you going to put your focus? And I think it's amazing because you're choosing to put your focus on the things that feel good to focus on right he drives that's amazing right and and he contributes in his own way and how amazing that he's more laid back because we often need that we need somebody who's like it's all good, babe. It's bad let's just go to the pool babe. Like you know, it's Yeah, it's nice to have that balance. Yeah. And I love that you like talked about it like putting your choosing where you put your energy and focus I mean, it's like everything I heard this amazing metaphor one time about, like, you know, it's like you're in a dark room with a flashlight. And there's like, in one corner of the room, there's like a smelly trash bag.
And on the other side of the room, there's like, beautiful, like, flowers and crystals or whatever. And you we can like, we have the flashlight, so we can point it at the garbage and be like, Oh, my God, look at all that shit. Or we can turn the flashlight over here and be like, Oh, look at it, those flowers and those crystals. And when we, I think when we focus our energy, there, we create more of that our brain see more of that, because that's how our brains are literally designed our reticular activating system will go seeking evidence to confirm our current belief system and intention and where we're putting our energy and focus. So it just compounds and we see more of it. And the more you know, when I first started doing this kind of like, had this intention to like, really look for all the ways Trevor is supporting me and supporting us.
Like, I was telling my friend, I'm like, I know this isn't true. But my brain is telling me there's nothing that he does doesn't do anything. And I'm like, I know, that's bullshit. But that's what my brain is telling me. So, in the beginning, I really had to, like, look and be like, where and the more I do, the more I see. And I, you know, just it's like, I think there's this, we, in many ways don't allow ourselves to be supported allow ourselves to receive. Can we talk about that? Why do you think we do that? Well, I mean, I think there's a number of reasons. I think the first reason is that ancestrally, we have been completely oppressed from receiving any kind of pleasure, right? So for centuries, pleasure was bad. And this especially was the case for women. So feeling joy, feeling pleasure, has been like a sinful thing.
It's been a bad thing. We've been burned at the stake for it, right? All of these things that kind of live in our consciousness, right. So I think that that's always a factor. But I don't think that that's necessarily something that damns us, I think it's just something that we get to liberate ourselves from. And the way that we do that, that is by really changing our perspective on pleasure, and joy. And I think that that's a really good place for us to start. I think even in the bedroom, a lot of women have a hard time receiving. So I think that starting with yourself is a really good place to start. But receiving I think for a lot of us, it's just something that we aren't taught how to do. And I think in our culture, also, it's something where we are really I mean, American culture, especially, it's all about earning pleasure, earning a break, earning relaxation, earning money, earning abundance, earning a certain lifestyle, you have to work your butt off, you have to it's very much glorified to, to hustle and to, you know, be this perfect wife who does it all.
I mean, there's so many stories attached can't just be just because you are a new employee. And that's the beautiful thing about your work right in our work is that we get to teach people how to receive because we know that's really why we're here, right? This like expansion that feels good, it doesn't have to suck, actually, it shouldn't suck, it should be fun. That's why we're here. And anytime it's challenging, it's because we're deepening our experiences, and deepening the possibility of how good something can feel and how amazing something can be. But I think that's the work. That's the work for us is really being able to learn how to receive more and more and more and allow any belief that limits that to be changed and transformed.
Yes. And I think it's like, bringing that awareness to it and like, Look, practicing, receiving even with like little things like compliments, and, you know, when someone does something for you or you know, something nice or, or even you do something nice for yourself, like, let yourself receive the magic of that, like, Oh, this is awesome. Or like, you know, if someone like says like, cover sets the other day like, I'm something like you, you amaze me every day. And my first thought was, well, that's crazy. I was like, wait, I just said I'm like, why do I think that's crazy? That's not crazy. That's that's awesome because I'm awesome. Of course. He is amazing. Every day because I'm amazing. And I love, I noticed my brain telling me That's crazy. And I was like, Well, actually, it's not crazy. Like, I get to receive that I get to believe that about myself. And I think it really starts, like you said, like, within with cultivating those feelings and self love within yourself first.
Absolutely. And I think there is this really powerful thing and just realizing how powerful we are. I mean, we are so effing powerful. It's beyond like comprehension. And that's why we don't know it because we can't even comprehend how, right like, yes, so insane. We're literally witches, like we can do anything. It's just about believing it. So the more we receive, the more we get to step into that power.
Oh, my gosh, I love it so much. Okay, speaking of stepping into power, I know You talk a lot about stepping into this energy of being irresistible, which I think definitely correlates with stepping into your power. So can you talk about that? And like how we can step more into that energy? And, you know, when you talk about it, is it typically just in the context of manifesting a new relationship? Or is it also like cultivating Is there something to cultivating that irresistible energy in a relationship that you're already and that you just want to like, continue growing and evolving?
I think it's totally something that you can cultivate in any place you're in in your life. So whether you are single, whether you're in a relationship, whether you're in between whatever stage you are in, it is something that is truly not dependent on another person, it's totally you, I think it has so much to do with being comfortable being uncomfortable. I think that that's something that us as women are really learning how to do, because we are now in a place in time where we are more seen than ever before. And we are more our community, I think, is bigger than ever before. And so there's so many beliefs that are deep rooted, that are being just like zapped, like over and over and over again, by this work that we're doing. And all of this now working in this community building, and even our net network, right, it's so powerful, who is in our network, and just how our collective consciousness is expanding and changing.
I think that being irresistible has so much to do with the level of confidence we have in who we really, really are, who we really are not from a place of, you know, our reputation, or what society may may think we should be or what our partner thinks we should be or what our parents think we should be really finding that deep self like that me right, that inner voice or that higher self, or whatever you want to call it, and asking that part of you like what would light you up? And then stepping into that? Completely unapologetically. And that's where the discomfort comes in. Because it's uncomfortable. It's fucking scary. I keep swearing on your podcast, I'm really allowed to say whatever you want to say I just hosted a master class class called unfuck. With the walls.
Oh, that's true. All right, good. Yeah. So that's where it gets uncomfortable. Because when you step into that version of you, unapologetically, it's first really, really, really scary. Because it's so unique. Nobody's ever done what you're doing before ever in time, because nobody is you, you have a completely unique energetic design nobody else has has that, right. So you're doing something that's never been done before. And that's why it feels so scary because the collective consciousness doesn't know how to do that. It's just you, it's your own unique experience. So you're stepping into this, you this unique version of you, and the world has to completely energetically adjust to receive it. And so there's resistance and that can come up in financial ways and can come up in ways that people get upset with you, you know, maybe family friction, friction with your partner, whatever that looks like.
And they will tell you not to use the word unfuckwithable on social media because it's unprofessional. And then that's you moving through that moving through that creating this new paradigm. And that's powerful. That's powerful. Yeah. Right. And that's how we become irresistible. It takes some work, but the portal, the portal, it moves you to a new paradigm. And then you're there. Once you're there, you're there. It's just awkward.
And it's like, we can use those moments to dim who we are and make it mean, oh, well, that part of me isn't acceptable. Let me bury that and hide that Oh, up experience told me that part of me isn't acceptable. Let me bury that and hide that. And then it's like, we have all these pieces of us that we hide away, or we get to use those experiences to go deeper into who we are. And when you on the other side of like, moving through the discomfort of like, being who you really are, and like, not everyone around you like being like, okay with that, or whatever being triggered by it or uncomfortable by it. It's like, on the other side of that is so much more confidence and freedom. And that personal power, like that's how you build it is by deciding that this incident, or whatever happened doesn't get to tell me to turn off parts of me. I'm going to turn them back on. No, we're turning this shit up, right?
It's really, yeah, it's awesome. And it feels really, it feels so good. It feels so good to set those boundaries to decide, you know what, that that hurts. And I can feel that and I can process that and I can be a human have human emotions about it. And I choose to keep being me I choose to keep leading with my desires, what lights me up what feels good for me? Absolutely. And I think that that's really something that's powerful for so many women to learn is that they can do hard things. They can do things that are hard, they can be safe in that. And yes, it's uncomfortable. Yes, it's challenging, but you can do it. And it's worth it. It's liberating. It's freedom. It's, there's nothing like it. It's the best feeling ever. There. Yeah, there's nothing like that feeling of being free.
Yeah, it's like the more tolerance we have for discomfort and an painful and uncomfortable emotions, the more willing we are to put ourselves in front of experiences that will give us the things we want, the more willing we are to take the inspired actions, even if they feel scary, you know, it's like I when I think about like dating, I can see it as like, you know, if you're not willing to feel rejection, then you're probably not going to be willing to go on dates and put yourself in experiences that could lead you to finding the person, right. So it's like, we have to be willing, it doesn't mean these we have to be rejected, and we have to make it hard. And we have to be all these emotions. But can we be willing to because when we're willing to then we're then we're open to so much, we're open to the infinite possibilities that exist.
So true. And the thing I love that you brought that up, because I think that that's one of the things that I, I believe is so powerful about love. And this is something that I think is one of the biggest challenges for us. But when we work on this, and we work through this, it's the most rewarding to me the most rewarding experience ever, which is when you are in a relationship and There is even an inch of you holding back because you're afraid to get hurt, you're not fully open to receiving so you can't receive you can't receive the pleasure, you can't receive the love, you can't receive all the delicious goodness that comes with love, right?
When you totally break open your heart break open that shell that you've built somehow, and you allow your heart to be free and you allow yourself to be open to true love and real love. And your partner does the same. That connection is so incredibly great, right? You do like worth the risk of exactly yeah, being able to love means risking there is no love without risk. And so when you let yourself know that you are safe, and you can handle whatever comes you know that the love is worth it. That connection. It's there's nothing else better than that.
Yeah, and I think it's building that like resilience and like inner knowing that I can I can handle it. These emotions are okay. Yeah, like rejection like really hurts and feels really painful. And at the same time, like it's just a sensation in the body. Like I can do it I can get through itself. Love that so much so okay. I have one more question for you. How, how do you keep your relationship like fun and exciting and What I would imagine constantly like growing and evolving.
Yes, yes. Okay. Well, I have my soulmate, he is absolutely made for me. And I always think, you know, with the law of attraction, how it works is you experience contrast so that you can call in what you truly desire. And I always say like, the pendulum had to swing all the way, one way for it to swing all the way the other way, right, because I have the most incredible partner totally compatible with me. And that doesn't mean we don't have things to work on. But I just think he is wonderful. Some of the things that we really do are, we focus on our own things. So he has a passion, and I have a passion, and we really have created a dynamic where he, so his passion is basketball, he plays basketball, he loves basketball, he lives and breathes it, I'm number one, basketball is number two, and you got to set the record straight.
And, you know, and so he plays a lot of basketball, he, you know, he he does that, and then I have my business. But we also spend a lot of time together. The thing I think that's been really powerful for us is we spend quality time together. So we make it a point every single day to be present with each other. So maybe we make dinner and we eat dinner together, maybe we take a walk together, maybe we just sit and cuddle. We do you know, we're intimate a lot as well. Right? So there's a lot of things that we make a priority to do. And it's not like it's on the calendar. It's not like a thing that we you know, I mean, I, I compare it kind of to the way that I look at other aspects of my life where I don't really like a rigid schedule or anything like that, because I think that you find out. But it's something that we just decided on.
And then it's not an option. It's like, it's kind of like brushing your teeth or taking a shower. Right? You just, it's part of your day, and not a rule. It's like a personal standard. Absolutely. And I think we both hold each other to a high standard, we both respect each other very highly. And we both respect our relationship, right, we have an agreement. And I think that we both believe that it takes time and energy to cultivate something beautiful and deep and profound. And so we look at it as something we're building, every moment we spend together, we're building every time we, you know, talk on the phone we're building and I'm really blessed to because I put out a rocket of desire before we even met that I wanted somebody who would text me a lot and call me a lot and, and really, you know, be cute with me. And he does that and something he just does naturally. Right. And so I feel very blessed. It's not something I make him do.
So yeah, I feel like we have a lot of fun. But ultimately, it's just an intention. Just like Archangel Michael mentioned in the card. Right? We have an intention. And so what is our relationship look like? We work together to make it like this. It's not me, constantly bugging him. It's something we've decided together. And I think that that's really the magic and I I'm really blessed to because he's really easy going just like like your man, right? He's kind of like, sure, baby. You know, and I like the baby, I want to go to Italy, you know, okay, let's go, you know, where I want to live in, you know, wherever I could say, like Korea, and you'll be like, okay, man, you know, let's go, whatever. So, I'm very blessed to but I think that's how we attract the right person for us, right? Because those are the things that feel easy, right? It feels easy to move together and flow together and build together. And, and yeah, so. So that's kind of how we, how we navigate.
I love it. That's so good. And I really liked what you said about like, really intentionally making the quality time together. And like the emphasis on being present. It's five minutes of that can like completely shift the relationship the energy, it's like, so incredible, because Trevor and I will definitely like if we're both really like busy or are just at a time where we're like, more stress than usual. Our tendency is to go apart and to separate our energy. And when we intentionally like, well, we'll talk about it and be like, let's How can we use this to bring us together? How can we lean on each other? Like, what do you need from me? What do I need from you and use it to like, bring you back together and the last time we had a conversation like this for both of us to like resoundingly What do I need?
What would improve this was quality time presence. And then, you know, the next day we were like, okay, we're going to have lunch together. And it was like 1015 minutes of just having lunch together, no phones, whatever. Just talking, being present eating lunch together. And like, we both felt so much more connected, so much better. So it can be in those, like, small shifts, that makes such a huge difference. The phone thing is big, too. I think. When when we spend time together, I mean, there's times when we're both I mean, we both work on our phones, too, you know, so yeah, there are going to be times when we're both on our phones, and that's fine. But really taking time away from the phone. And, and even as we talk about starting a family, you know, I don't want our kids to look at us being on our phone all the time. So starting that now, right? Yeah, what is quality time look like?
Doesn't look like being on our phones, that's for sure. Right? Not even documenting everything. I think that as well as something that can be fine for other people. But for us personally, like cultivating that it's constantly about cultivating right like just curating the life we want. We get to do that. I mean, we all do, right? We get to design our life, we get to do whatever we want, and create whatever we want. Why not create it? Without phones all the time? That works for us, you know, so yeah, we sometimes will go out to dinner and leave our phones in the car or at home. And it's like, it's amazing.
Yeah, I would like to encourage everyone, I think that's a beautiful, like, action step that people can take away from this episode is like, you know, even if it's with a friend, if you're not in a romantic relationship, clan of friends day, or romantic day plan, set aside some time to connect with someone without a phone and just see what happens. See how you feel? No, I love that. I think that's good and powerful. And it's also part of that, that wiring, right, the way that we are constantly thinking and creating and yeah, just being able to be present and enjoy what we have. That's how we receive it's the simplest way to receive so it's more appreciation and gratitude for what's already there. I love it.
Okay, is there anything else on your heart today that you want to share feel called to talk about before you tell us where we can find you and work with you and all the things I think I just encourage everyone to follow what lights you up and and just know that being irresistible and being magnetic is really all about stepping into the most authentic and loving version of yourself. I love it. I would agree. Okay, so where can we find you work with you tell us what's going on in your world in business. So I just actually yesterday launched an amazing group program that is all about redesigning your energy and recalibrating yourself to becoming irresistible and it's called energetic design. And you can find out more information on my Instagram at door Vanda camp. And then I am also taking some more clients for one on one coaching.
So that's something that I am also open to as well and I think Instagram is probably the best way to find me that's where all my goodies and lives are and all of that and yeah, I believe that's it amazing thank you so much for everyone listening if you enjoyed this episode and there's someone and or if and or if there's someone in your life who you know needs to hear this screenshot, tag us send it to them share it, that would mean the world to us. And thank you so much Dora for being here. Thank you everyone listening, and I will see you on the next episode. I'm so grateful for you listening today if this resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you'd hit subscribe and then leave a review on iTunes and everybody is invited to the after party which takes place every day on Instagram I medically you so come hang out with us there. And if you're really fired up about mindset, spiritual and personal development, head to magneticallyyou.com to check out all the fun stuff I have going on there like my coaching, and my courses, free workshops, all the good stuff and I will see you on the next episode.
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